01.31.10

It's not a question of finding the right person, but becoming the right person. ~Anon.

Today I am grateful…

• for the birthday celebrants last nigh with over 500 years collective sobriety
• today I am not afraid of the silence
• that the sirens I hear are not coming for me
• for the incredible amount of talent in this world
• that the only good thing about winter returning is that it won’t last forever

Friday night’s full moon

It's mainly a quiet battle. It's fought daily. We fight and win by acting in a spiritual way. We fight and win every time we help a friend, go to meetings, or read about how to improve our lives We move slowly but always forward. Rushing will only tire us out. Our battle will go on for life. We are quiet fighters, but we're strong, for we do not fight alone. And we know what waits for us if we lose. ~Keep It Simple

01.30.10

Everyone has his own fingerprints. The white light streams down to be broken up by those human prisms into all the colors of the rainbow. Take your own color in the pattern and be just that. ~Charles R. Brow

Today I am grateful…

• today I do not have to drink or use a drug to alter my feelings
• for the chance to meet with my sponsor
• last night I got a big dose of Armando’s Taco truck tacos, the art of Barkley Hendricks at the CAMH, got in half a meeting and fellowship afterwards. Great Friday night!
• that when I was asked to share and since I got there late, I just apologized for being late, that the tacos at the Contemporary Art Museum were fantastic and that I was grateful to be in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and let someone who showed up on time share
• tonight is birthday night at Lambda Center

Me, C. 1987

The Big Book clearly says that before I am halfway through making amends, I will begin to know a "new" freedom; not the old freedom of doing what I pleased, without regard to others, but the new freedom that allows fulfillment of the promises in my life. What a joy to be free! ~Daily Reflections

01.29.10

Be aware of the negative rain in your life. If even a stone can be worn down over time by constant falling rain. ~Language of Letting Go

Today I am grateful…

• for this morning’s text from an unknown source that said, “I have an overwhelming feeling of joy and gratitude for life. I am glad you’re in my life and enjoy the person you are. Namaste” I found out who by thanking them and telling them I did not recognize the number. Isn’t that a sweet start to a day?
• to have gone through my box of old photos. I culled out a bunch to trash and marveled at the memories. I also started to scan and Photoshop some of my favorites.
• for the incredible rain and thunder last night which washed the Earth and brought cool temperatures
• the truth gets eked out, sometimes in small amounts, sometimes in larger amounts
• there are things I used to run from that I now run towards

To know that each newcomer with whom I share has the opportunity to experience the relief that I have found in this Fellowship fills me with joy and gratitude. I feel that all the things described in A.A. will come to pass for them, as they have for me, if they seize the opportunity and embrace the program fully. ~Daily Reflections

01.28.10

Never assume you know who I am or what I'm doing, ask me a question instead. ~Carol Neilson

Today I am grateful…

• for people who say, “I love you.”
• that anything is possible
• for all the luxuries in my little life
• that I am here and you are there, that means we are in the places we are supposed to be, right now
• that I do not miss drinking, smoking or overeating

Above from Rockwell Kent

Our progress today, and certainly our serenity, is enhanced by our willingness to accept all that we are blessed with today. Not only to accept, but to celebrate, trusting that these events are moving us toward our special destiny. -Each Day a New Beginning

Occupied Dreams

30" x 24", acrylic on canvas

01.27.10

Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear. ~Lao-tzu

Today I am grateful…

• that I don't have to set the rules. I don't have to experiment. All I have to do is what you said worked for you.
• to know when I am discontent I am just arguing with life
• for the intelligence of alcoholics. I think we, as a whole, are the funniest people on Earth.
• for the power to carry 'that' out
• that occasionally my mind goes on field trips, but never strays too far from home

You can’t lose in this game. You can’t go wrong. It’s not part of the plan. There’s no way not to get where you are going. There’s no way to miss your destination. If God is your target, you’re in luck, because God is so big, you can’t miss. ~CwG

01.26.10

My Mother told me
If I was goody
That she would buy me
A rubber dolly
My Auntie told her
I'd kissed a soldier
Now she won’t buy me
A rubber dolly 

~The Clapping Song

Today I am grateful…

• for yes, yes, yes, yes, no, yes
  
• that I was able to find relief that I did not have to drink again instead of anger that I could not
  
• for the life outline I did years ago and how it changed my thinking
  
• yesterday a friend from the past reached out with questions regarding a loved one’s drinking. Once again I was where I was supposed to be, at home with time. I texted a friend about it and his reply back was—God must really want you to stay sober, girl. That was just so bright and shiny to me.
  
• gratitude rushes in where this fool once walked
  
• that today is Bunny’s fourth birthday (see post below)
  

Imagine walking up to the counter at the local fast-food restaurant and asking if they had your order ready. "What order?" the counterperson would ask. "Did you phone one in?" "No, but I thought you might have something for me behind the counter anyway."
It's absurd, you might say. How could I expect them to have food ready for me when I hadn't yet placed my order.
Exactly. And how can you expect the magic of the universe to start bringing you the things and experiences that you want for your life if you haven't named them yet.
Have you placed an order yet? Maybe you thought about it at the beginning of the year, but put it off until you had more time to think about it. And every day, you wake up and stand at the counter of life asking, "What do you have for me?"
If you haven't asked for anything, you may have to settle for whatever life hands your way. Why not take the time to ask? You don't have to be too specific, just ask for what you want. Want adventure? Put it on the list. Want love? Write it down. There is no guarantee that you'll get everything you request. Life may have other plans for you. But you'll never know whether you can get what you want unless you know what that is, and ask for it first. ~More Language of Letting Go

Happy Birthday, Bunny!

My little boy is FOUR today!

01.25.10

Keep doing what you're doing and you'll keep getting what you're getting. ~Anonymous

Today I am grateful…

• that I finished the first layer of a large canvas for a client. I had to take it outside to work on it and the weather was gorgeous.
• to have a week stretching out in front of me
• for every tick of the clock I have a little more recovery under my belt
• that I really, really, really do not understand why so many people want to know what Tiger Woods did/does/will do. I seriously do not care.
• that I asked my HP this morning to redirect my thoughts

A newly recovering physician expressed his frustration. “I'm angry,” he said, “because everywhere around me people are drinking and having a good time, and I don't dare take a drink.” A doctor who was in his fifth year of sobriety responded, “When I found out that I couldn't drink anymore, it was a sense of relief. I don't have to fight that battle anymore.” It's pretty much how you look at it. You can resent it, or you can breathe a sigh of relief. Just think how much energy you can save, how your mind can be free of worry. ~Sober Thought for the Day 

01.24.10

Don't try, don't force, don't make it happen. Let. Let it happen. ~Melody Beattie

Today I am grateful…

• that things change over time. Many to my amazement. This morning I was really enjoying listening to a Timbaland album. I never thought…
• for all the files in my brain just waiting to be pulled up and opened
• for a trip to Galveston last night to see a friend’s art show, seafood dinner, laughter and fabulous 80s music remixes
• for all the things I have left at my Higher Power’s feet over the years
• a well polished tool kit gets me through tough spots

 

Norman V. Peale wrote that "God runs a beauty parlor," meaning that plain people with gracious thoughts tend to become more attractive as years wear on. We need not fear our own thoughts and feelings if we are continuing to work the program.  As the sober years stretch out, we will be improving our thoughts and feelings, and this will tell others what the program is doing for us and through us. ~Walk in Dry Places

01.23.10

I woke up at 4:20 AM after an itchy, restless, discontented sleep.

Last night I got a call from a friend who is out of town with his family for an emergency. He answered a call from an alcoholic in trouble with a relapse. He asked me if I could drop everything and make a 12th step call. I said yes, then found out the person in need is someone from the rooms that I have had LOTS of trouble listening to as he spreads the disease through his self-centered shares. I was not hesitant to make the call, but my brain wanted to fester up a big resentment. I said a prayer and left for Lambda Center. A friend walked in right after me and he agreed to accompany me. I have been taught we do not make these calls alone.

We found our man in his robe not looking too bad for the wear, but he did seem disoriented. We didn’t ask a lot of questions of him. He wanted to go to the VA hospital. He gave me his house keys and the alarm codes and I noticed the cat had food and water. He got dressed and we drove him to the hospital. On the trip there I texted my out-of-town friend that we were on our way. I got one back, he was sitting in an AA meeting. I got this huge, overwhelming feeling we were all where we were supposed to be. Fairly quickly they got our man into an ER holding room. My accomplice and I sat in the waiting room, talked about the stuff you talk about in these situations and paid attention to our iPhones. I ended up giving the nurse my name and phone number so we could be on our way to dinner. Our man tried his best to be dramatic and convince me to feel sorry for him.

My accomplice and I had dinner at a really gay place. We laughed, he texted his sponsor about the call we had made. We discussed our programs and where we were with them. I dropped him at his car and came home. At 10:15, five hours after we dropped our man off at the VA, he called me and said they would not keep him. I texted my out-of-town friend and he told me to stay in touch with him as the event continued. I picked up our man. We got his prescription filled. He wanted a burger so we drove through Burger King and he wanted to pay for that dollar burger with a credit card. When I got him home the first thing he did was go to the kitchen and take the giant bottle of vodka out and turn it upside down in the sink. It emptied. I made sure he was okay and left.

I try not to talk on the phone when I am driving, but on the way home I needed to be in touch with my out-of-town friend. We marveled at how our program of AA works. He is where he is supposed to be and I was, too. It has been a long time since I made a 12th step call. It wasn’t nearly as awful as it could have been. The person we took care of has been trying to get and stay sober for untold years. Self-importance can take me down that same road. It did not matter that he is capable of making huge money, owns property, can speak eloquently…alcohol is no respecter of those things. It will slice and dice you until you cannot stand. I am truly grateful for the first step and the honesty it takes to practice it.

God could and would if He were sought.

Today I am grateful…

• if I seek God, if I stand close to God, if I do my best to follow God’s will I will be guaranteed to have a better experience of God. It seems there is no decision to it, like water has no conscious effort to find its level.
• for this medium where I can list my gratitude
• that I can and will return to my bed shortly
• that I am not nursing a hangover on a Saturday morning
• that tonight I am going to dinner and a friend’s gallery opening in Galveston

Now we come to another kind of problem: the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman. To these, many A.A.s can say, "Yes, we were like you--far too smart for our own good. We loved to have people call us precocious. We used our education to blow ourselves up into prideful balloons, though we were careful to hide this from others. Secretly, we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our brainpower alone. Scientific progress told us there was nothing man couldn't do. Knowledge was all-powerful. Intellect could conquer nature. Since we were brighter than most folks (so we thought), the spoils of victory would be ours for the thinking. The god of intellect displaced the God of our fathers. But again John Barleycorn had other ideas. We who had won so handsomely in a walk turned into all-time losers. We saw that we had to reconsider or die. We found many in A.A. who once thought as we did. They helped us to get down to our right size. By their example they showed us that humility and intellect could be compatible, provided we placed humility first. When we began to do that, we received the gift of faith, a faith which works. This faith is for you, too." ~ 12 & 12 

01.22.10

Silence is so accurate. ~Mark Rothko

Today I am grateful…

• no matter what may happen today it won’t be as bad as one of my old drunk days
• for the freedom to be happy
• that I don’t need a whole lot to feel fulfilled, but sometimes a little concentration helps
• for the comfort of "fitting in"
• today I will try not to be quicker than God

 

Your one and only true and great work in this lifetime is to paddle your own soul through the creative rivers and tributaries of experience home to the peaceful pool of infinity. When you arrive and awaken you will find that all it took was a deep breath. ~Lani Picard

01.21.10

What is defeat?...Nothing but the first step to something better. ~Wendell Phillips

Today I am grateful…

• yesterday all was well in my life but my mind was really convinced I needed to be fearful and angry. The mind didn’t win yesterday.
• so much of life is mysterious and I don’t have to know all the working pieces, but I dreamed I was in a wheel chair because my left leg was bothering me. I woke with my left hip, knee and ankle achy.
• that my life isn’t a Jackie Chan movie
• to strive to follow the advise, "Don't let others rent space in your head" it's a hard one for me, often
• I don't get lonely, my anger subsides fairly quickly, if I get tired I nap and my hunger only comes from watching my food intake

I just know that you are expected, at some point, to do more than carry the message of A.A. to other alcoholics. In A.A. we aim not only for sobriety--we try again to become citizens of the world that we rejected, and of the world that once rejected us. This is the ultimate demonstration toward which Twelfth Step work is the first but not the final step. ~Bill W

01.20.10

Service is really a beautiful word. Service means respect. When we serve others we're part of the human race. ~Keep It Simple

Today I am grateful…

• to have attended the meeting last night where I got sober. The topic was helping others. A 12th step is what brought me back into the program. I am reminded of what it was like—often. I have to be reminded because my rememberer is broken.
• for smart, loving, funny-as-hell friends
• for vigilance. It’s so different not running into as many walls as I once did.
• that I don’t always have to know why. Sometimes the answer is because.
• to have answered ‘yes’ last night when my brain was screaming ‘NO!’ It was in answer to something that might help my painting career, the no came from fear.

The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. It's overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt.  --Leo Buscaglia

There is no such thing as complete acceptance. When you can remember a loss with a little distance and much less pain, you have accepted the loss and mourned it fully. You accept that life is different now and move on. ~David Viscott

01.19.10

Self-realization is not a matter of withdrawal from a corrupt world or narcissistic contemplation of oneself. An individual becomes a person by enjoying the world and contributing to it. ~Francine Klagsbrun

Today I am grateful…

• for comment moderation. Some people have nothing better to do with their small lives than to leave their sick diatribe on other’s property. Other’s think by taking time to post their business promotion it will increase revenue? I have never clicked through to someone’s business website through any comment left on a blog. So, sorry the comment moderation thing is back in effect.
• that someone told me they thanked the Baby Jesus for my friendship with their partner. That just tickled me.
• for all the happy pups at the dog groomer’s yesterday. From the tiniest Chihuahua to the gigantic, gray dappled Great Dane. They were so happy and not much makes me happier than seeing happy pups.
• that happiness can be as simple or complicated as I choose. Usually I choose the simple route.
• for my life as it is, as it was and as it will be

Let go of the uncontrollable in your life. You're not a solitary being in this great universe, set to struggle against all of the forces, you're part of the whole. And the changes that come-- whether they're joyous or sad, easy or difficult-- are just a part of the growing process that each of us goes through.
Feel the pain when you have a loss. Feel the joy when you triumph. Then let go and continue to grow.
See how connected you are. ~The Language of Letting Go

01.18.10

The mind and its objects cannot be known simultaneously. ~Patanjali

Today I am grateful…

• for an art productive Sunday
• today will be another day of art-tivity
• for Joan Rivers. I watched her on the New Year’s Eve Graham Norton Show and she is really, really smart and funny. She made me laugh over and over.
• my fear of others has diminished greatly allowing healthy relationships to bloom; a by-product of which is feeling more at ease in my own skin
• for all the blessings in my life, supported by love and grace

God loves you with the very air you breath, the very light that touches your skin, the very ground that supports you. Love is everywhere -- melt your barriers, and you will have love in abundance. ~CwG

You are the artist in your life

You create the images and colors on the canvas called your life. Are you creating the picture you want? Does your canvas convey a life of fulfillment and growth? Or does your canvas convey chaos and despair?

Etienne with Roses

30" x 24", collage mounted on canvas
Art for IAC donation item

01.17.09

Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box. ~Italian proverb

Today I am grateful…

• help can arrive quickly after a disaster. One hundred years ago it would have been months for a ship to reach Haiti, then return to home port. It would then take more time for the news to reach us.
• our client made it out of Haiti thanks to a local connection to mercenaries who flew her out of the country
• for Saturday game night. Raucous laughter with good friends.
• that I just keep doing my gratitude lists, some days I just don’t want to—but it is such a part of my recovery I keep going.
• to have so many, many little things that bring me incredible joy

In reaching out to others and letting them know I care, I have discovered that I am really helping myself. My carelessness disappears when I reach out to others. This does not mean that I am willing to put myself or my recovery at risk, but it does mean that I need to be willing to carry the message and I need to be willing to show others I care. Sometimes, this means offering someone a ride to a meeting or hanging out with someone after a meeting because they need to talk. Sometimes it means being willing to make a phone call and at other times it means helping someone laugh out loud. ~Wisdom for Today

01.16.10

Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being. ~Goethe

Today I am grateful…

• my actions keep reminding me of how far I still have to go
• I have no hold on yesterday and tomorrow will never get here
• that although I still have the disease of 'more', I have it a bit less
• persistence and perseverance usually pay off, if I can wait a while
• during laughter, nothing else exists

It is when you are willing to listen to yourself and be fearless that figuring out your next step becomes easy. Beneath the fear and hesitation and uncertainty lies your inner knowing that always knows which step you need to take next. If you can allow the taking of your next step to be as easy as putting one foot in front of the next, you’ll notice that your next step is always the one that is right in front of you. All you have to do is put one foot forward and on the ground. ~Daily Om

01.15.10

What do I want to hear God say when I reach the other side? “I understand.”

Today I am grateful…

• that I can pray anywhere, anytime about anything
• for those counting days and those counting years
• to be where I am today, unafraid, the shame dog at bay. Temporarily.
• for the mysteries of life that keep me guessing
• that gratitude has changed my life

What are you going through in your life right now?
Don't feel you're the only one.
Open your eyes.
Open your heart to your connections with your larger family.
Let them share their stories with you.
Let them share their strengths, hopes, fears, and joys.
Stop looking for what's different and what makes you separate and apart.
Go on an adventure of discovering your common bonds.
~Melody Beattie

01.14.10

If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea. ~Antoine de Saint Exupery

Today I am grateful…

• for last night’s meeting where the topic was the Twelve Steps. The first person shared their experience, strength and hope about Step One, the second person about Step Two and so on. I was lucky to share first. It was powerful. And Step Twelve ended two minutes before the scheduled closing time, right on target.
• to be often reminded of the rubble I left behind. First Step meetings do that every time.
• for the fullness of spirit I feel often. To be so emotionally accepting of the welling up of gratitude for what I have been given so freely.
• that God would and could if He were sought
• for a life so full I cannot imagine how it just keeps getting better and better—but it does

I will learn to overcome myself, because every blow to selfishness is used to shape the real, eternal, imperishable me. As I overcome myself, I gain that power which God releases in my soul. And I too will be victorious. It is not the difficulties of life that I have to conquer, so much as my own selfishness. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

01.13.10

You will never fully grasp the depth of life's richness. For the more of it you experience, the more of it there is. ~Ralph Marston

Today I am grateful…

• for nights when we go to bed and I tell Bunny how lucky we are
• for all the things that have happened to me in my lifetime. My history.
• to feel as if I have led several lives in this lifetime. None of them as a spy, though.
• to be reminded how guarded our disease makes us. Last night I watched the season premiere of Celebrity Rehab. The denial, the fear in a giant of a man was humbling.
• that Houston seemed to be in such a good mood yesterday. The temperatures are back to the temperate winter we normally have. It was bright and shiny and felt warm.

I will say thank you to God for everything, even the seeming trials and worries. I will strive to be grateful and humble. My whole attitude toward the Higher Power will be one of gratitude. I will be glad for the things I have received. I will pass on what God reveals to me. I believe that more truths will flow in, as I go along in the new way of life. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day 

01.12.10

The gift of love means this: I want to share with you whatever I have that is good. ~John Powell

Today I am grateful…

• that it was 45º when I woke this morning instead of the freezing temperatures we have had this winter
• for the most part I have resigned from the debating society
• for a Higher Power that has taught me to be grateful
• for my New Year’s focus – compassion
• that I have to occasionally delete shows from my DVR because I do not watch that much TV any more

I will say thank you to God for everything, even the seeming trials and worries. I will strive to be grateful and humble. My whole attitude toward the Higher Power will be one of gratitude. I will be glad for the things I have received. I will pass on what God reveals to me. I believe that more truths will flow in, as I go along in the new way of life. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

011110

Fear is only an illusion. It is the illusion that creates the feeling of separateness--the false sense of isolation that exists only in. your imagination. ~Jeraldine Sounders

Today I am grateful…

• for a night’s sleep where I didn’t have to take a bathroom break. Oh, and dreamed of being with Lady Gaga.
• I recognize I am still stubborn. I am a lot more flexible than I have ever been, but I still hold my cards close to my chest some days.
• I would seriously rather be happy than be right
• for one of the most important tools I have, another alcoholic to talk to
• that I can make a terrific cup of coffee at home

We are one. We are connected, interdependent parts of the whole. We are not separate from each other except in the mind, in our false understanding of reality. As we come to understand our connectedness, our need for one another to complete the whole of creation, our fears will die. ~Touchstones 

01.10.10

If you’re not careful you will drown in your own expectations. ~CwG

Today I am grateful…

• for the carefree running around afternoon yesterday with a friend
• to have been able to be spontaneous and consider things I was not willing to consider doing before
• to watch the opening of the tightly held, tender petals of another’s heart
• that I could offer a solution yesterday to someone’s pain (meet me at a meeting)
• that all in all, my life purrs

We will want the good that is in us all, even in the worst of us, to flower and
grow. But first of all we shall want sunlight, nothing much can grow in the dark.
Meditation is our step out into the sun. ~Bill W

01+09=10

Extremists think that 'communication' means agreeing with them. ~Leo Rosten

Today I am grateful…

• that I have my first piece in a show in a New York City gallery. It is a donation piece to the Postcards from the Edge,supporting Visual Aids.
• that most of my car trips are ten minutes or under
• that I strive for contentment, but there are times my mind wants to complicate the most simple of things
• that any hiding out today is relatively small compared to the elaborate isolating behaviors of my past. Many things diminish in importance when exposed to the light.
• that you will have a tremendous day because you want to

Even in sobriety, we have to guard against the impossible dreams we nourished while drinking. Again and again, we must remind ourselves that sober living is based on reality. Even reality, however, can have its miracles. I'll keep my dreams alive today, but I'll make sure that they have a good foundation in reality. ~Walk in Dry Places

01.08.10

So, don't take for granted just what you see. Look under the mask, that's where the real person will be. ~author unknown

Today I am grateful…

• for having lived in Texas for nearly 33 years. Our winters are mild and I am not accustomed to the cold. It’s 26º outside right now and the heat has been running full force for an hour. It’s still 63º in my little bungalow. Brrrrr.
• when I was early in sobriety and my car needed major work a friend offered to pay for it. The expense was going to be $500 higher if they fixed the heat coil in the dashboard. Since we  normally don’t really need a car heater for more than a couple days a year I had them bind off the coil—so my car now is without a heater. Yesterday it was brutal, today I am not sure if I can be in it for more than a few minutes.

When men and women pour so much alcohol into themselves that they destroy their lives, they commit a most unnatural act. Defying their instinctive desire for self-preservation, they seem bent upon self-destruction. They work against their own deepest instinct. As they are humbled by the terrific beating administered by alcohol, the grace of God can enter them and expel their obsession. Here their powerful instinct to live can cooperate fully with their Creator's desire to give them new life. ~12&12, pg. 64

01.07.10

To affect the quality of the day--that is the highest of the arts. ~Henry David Thoreau

Today I am grateful…

• that I see my recovery as a way to write the last chapters of my life as I want. There are some that decide they cannot make it that far and leave us early.
• I am able to see I need to be vigilant
• for a simple program that offers abundant solutions
• that every day I thank my Higher Power for keeping me sober. I was not able to do it.
• to strive to be more compassionate

Last night my home group discussed the first tradition (the first monthly meeting focuses on one tradition). It got me remembering the AA Rewards and thought I would post them again:

The 12 Rewards

1. Faith instead of despair.
2. Courage instead of fear.
3. Hope instead of desperation.
4. Peace of mind instead of confusion.
5. Real friendships instead of loneliness.
6. Self-respect instead of self-contempt.
7. Self-confidence instead of helplessness.
8. A clean conscious instead of a sense of guilt.
9. The respect of others instead of their pity and contempt.
10. A clean pattern of living instead of a hopeless existence.
11. The love and understanding of our families instead of their doubts and fears.
12. The freedom of a happy life instead of the bondage of an alcoholic obsession.

01.06.10

Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best. ~Henry Van Dyke

Today I am grateful…

• to have discovered saline nasal spray. No chemicals and it keeps my nasal membranes fresh!
• for the extra covers I piled on the bed last night. Nothing better than sleeping in the coolness of winter with heavy bed covers, warmed underneath by the love of a Boston Bulldog.
• for my new spectacles. I love them!
• that today hopefully all the other drivers on the roads will be able to see my car. Yesterday they were driving as if it were a stealth car.
• for purposeful days

In order to walk into the world of freedom, we must go through the door of abstinence. We need not fear the pains of withdrawal. Growth is often painful. Many have gone before us and report that the eventual freedom is well worth the temporary suffering. Our Higher Power will give us the strength to endure and will never push us farther than we can go. When we are tempted to give in, a prayer and a phone call can save us. ~Food for Thought

01.05.10

Speak kind words and you will hear kind echoes. ~unknown

Today I am grateful…

• that I did not freeze to death the 45 minutes I was outside yesterday morning helping a client pick out a fountain vessel for his garden. The plains of Katy, TX with winds of 25 mph on such a cold day was hateful.
• for comfort food of rotisserie chicken, garlic mashed potatoes and green beans following out outing
• that although my built-in ‘attention seeking device’ is still functioning well I notice it more these days and it makes me uncomfortable
• for the antihistamine eye drops my doctor recommended, they are helping my eyes and my nose. I also added a saline solution nasal spray to help alleviate this extreme dry nose that accompanies artificial heat.
• that I have said my prayers, done my meditations and am ready to post this and fix some breakfast

Peace: Burial at Sea ~J. M. W. Turner

As I walked through the steps, I began to recognize that God was walking with me on this journey. In all my personal relationships, I began to see evidence of God working in my life to improve it. Over and over again I would see God guide and direct me. I was given opportunities for change. I was given strength, and I was given courage. I found myself doing things that I did not know I was capable of doing. Today I am convinced that each of the changes I have gone through on this journey have occurred only because God was leading me on this path. Seeing this evidence has only worked to strengthen my faith that my Higher Power is indeed caring for me. ~Wisdom for Today

01.04.10

Growl all day and you'll feel dog tired at night. ~Anonymous

Today I am grateful…

• that I have what I need today
• for Sunday night Scrabble and bananas foster without alcohol
• today I can get back to eating healthier
• God has been abundant in my life
• that I never had the thought that maybe AA could teach me how to drink normally, or responsibly

Most of us, by yielding to self-will, lose out in the search for real joy, true success, and genuine happiness.  Our alcoholism was perhaps the best example of self-will in action. It was only when we turned to a Higher Power that we began to find the things that we had been vainly seeking in the bottle.  God has brought us this far and will not fail us when we ask for guidance and understanding in other matters. ~Walk In Dry Places

01.03.10

I am still learning. ~Michelangelo’s motto

Today I am grateful…

• to have slept until 8:20 this morning. I made it to the Came to Believe meeting and did not fret about posting.
• for breakfast fellowship afterward and a short, cold meeting with a sponsee
• that tomorrow morning we have a meeting with a new client. Great way to start the new year!
• for today’s meeting about self-esteem and that I have more of it than I have ever had in this lifetime
• for the indispensables: honesty, open-mindedness and willingness

New Years at the Brandenburg Gate (extraordinary!)

Even when it hurts like hell, hold fast. The pain is the arrow coming out, not the arrow going in. Faith is not about trusting a God who will rescue you from arrows but trusting in the process. Faith will center you, not rescue you. ~Pocket Sponsor

01.02.10

There is not one blade of grass, there is no color in this world that is not intended to make us rejoice. ~John Calvin

Today I am grateful…

• for rule #62 which encourages me to not take myself so damned seriously
• for butterscotch milkshakes from Little Bigs
• for the last couple of sane sharings at last night’s meeting. We should remember to not share our sickest thoughts when there is a newcomer in the room.
• that I have today to be myself and treat others with respect
• for the choices I have today, for the grace in my life, that just for today I will have what I need
• that I wound up, after all, in the winner's circle

You are so made that you can only carry the weight of twenty-four hours, no more. If you weigh yourself down with the years behind and the days ahead, your back breaks. God has promised to help with the burdens of the day only. If you are foolish enough to gather again that burden of the past and carry it, then indeed you cannot expect God to help you bear it. So forget that which lies behind you and
breathe in the blessing of each new day. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

01.01.10

The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose. ~Hada Bejar

Today I am grateful…

• to have run in the new year with sober loved ones, come home to Bunny safe and sound after traveling behind a drunk on the way home and slept soundly
• to have been with a friend as he turned 19 years sober at midnight

• at faith and trust have taken on a self-propelling force

• that I have today more than I could have ever dreamed during my drinking, and I have a pretty vivid imagination. My Higher Power has an imagination that is unlimited by thoughts.

• that I wish for you a Happy New Year!

Nothing is more attractive than sharing with others. No trait will be admired as much as generosity. There is no surer way to gain the respect of friends and neighbors than to show by what we give that we care about others. We can give many things besides money, shelter, clothing, or food to those in need. We can give the rich person love and understanding that money can't buy. We can sympathize with those who are troubled, even though they appear wealthier than ourselves. We can share experience, strength, and hope with those who are ill or unhappy. We can even share our suffering with others who suffer, and hold up a light for them on the road to recovery. ~Today’s Gift