Attitude of Gratitude

12.11.(10).09

2009-12-11T07:23:00.000-06:00

The night of the past is gone, this day is ours. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Today I am grateful…

for the luxury of central air and heat
for my own washer/dryer combo
for smiles on happy dogs (below is not Bunny)
the company of strangers and the comfort of friends
for shopping sprees at Texas Art Supply

Help me remember that frustration and confusion usually precede growth. If my situation is challenging me, it is because I'm learning something new, rising to a higher level of understanding. Help me be grateful, even in my frustration, that life is an exciting progression of lessons. ~The Language of Letting Go

Pull My Finger

2009-12-10T17:25:00.000-06:00

HERE!

12.10.09

2009-12-10T07:49:00.000-06:00

If you can just observe what you are and move with it, then you will find that it is possible to go infinitely far. ~J. Krishnamurti

Today I am grateful…

for the language of Alcoholics Anonymous. I always wanted to be in on things, now I am.
that I still believe in magic
for the willingness to do the work, that is God doing for me what I could not do for myself
that recovery brings out human-ness
for last night’s topic ‘acceptance’. I need to hear this over and over and over. And then some.

When we were small, we dreamed a thousand dreams about what could happen in our lives. Anything, even magical things, seemed like they could happen, and our world was full of visions. That part of us that believes wonderful, magical things can happen is still in us. It may have been beaten down for a while, but it is still there waiting to help us seek the wonderful, lovely, and good things in life. ~Today's Gift

The Evening Encounter

2009-12-09T09:55:00.001-06:00

24" x 30", acrylic on canvas

12.09.09

2009-12-09T09:29:00.000-06:00

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Today I am grateful…

that I never really watched The Biggest Loser other than a few minutes here and there, but last night I saw the last three weigh in and the winner determined. He lost 55% of his weight. There is a euphoria to that kind of weight loss. I have had the experience (not that big a percentage, but 70 pounds is significant). It just shows that the seemingly impossible can be a reality.
that reality can have a boundary or it can be flexible, it's my perception to which I must pay attention
for prayers for all those still on the sinking ship
that my ship is in dry dock

We are all seeking something, but many do not know what they want in life. They are seeking something because they are restless and dissatisfied, without realizing that faith in God can give an objective and a purpose for their lives. Many of us are at least subconsciously seeking for a Power greater than ourselves because that would give a meaning to our existence. If you have found that Higher Power, you can be the means of leading others aright, by showing them that their search for a meaning to life will end when they find faith and trust in God as the answer. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

12.08.09

2009-12-08T07:49:00.000-06:00

All animals, except man, know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it. ~Samuel Butler

Today I am grateful…

that the Monday night Beginners meeting continues to be powerful and always takes me back to thoughts of the beginning of my journey
that giving back results in receiving more
that I didn’t get enough sleep last night but I think I will be okay
that my days have lots of Hallmark moments
that I have found such joy lately in social interaction. A far cry from the hermit of olden days.

Look at the ordinary in your life. How would you feel if it was taken away? Don't just be grateful for successes. Be grateful for and celebrate the ordinary in your world. ~More Language of Letting Go

12.07.09

2009-12-07T07:51:00.000-06:00

We are here to add what we can to, not to get what we can get from, Life. ~Sir William Osler

Today I am grateful…

for last night’s home cooked meal of roast beef with horseradish sauce, mashed potatoes with gravy and fresh green beans
that my obsession yesterday afternoon with listening endlessly to Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance has subsided
for a return to more seasonal temperatures here in Texas
that a sober Monday morning is a great start to any week
that gratitude, practiced daily, results in a peaceful heart

One of the great gifts of sobriety is learning to see beauty in things not always with
the eyes, but with the feeling of the heart. ~Shelley

12.06.09

2009-12-06T08:57:00.000-06:00

The strongest of all warriors are these two --Time and Patience. ~Leo Tolstoy

Today I am grateful…

that when I detach from the craziness of this world the more peace I find
that if I pay enough attention today will teach me something I didn't know or perceive yesterday
for all the things I will forget today for which I am grateful
that my sober days pass fairly quickly and smoothly. My drinking days passed slowly and painfully.
that I can give the custodianship of my life to my Higher Power

Celebrate with awe how far you've come in those first few steps of sobriety and in your faith and willingness to let go of your fears. Celebrate those first faltering moments of learning what it meant to take care of yourself. Even now, with each step you take, you are being transformed. Celebrate! ~More Language of Letting Go

12.05.09

2009-12-05T08:41:00.000-06:00

Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls. ~Joseph Campbell

Today I am grateful…

for the snow day we had here in Texas yesterday. Some loved it, some bemoaned it, some drove like it was raining babies.
for yesterday’s meeting on service, sponsorship and the Grapevine
for my daily reprieve
that five years ago today I started publishing this blog, and for where it has taken me and for all the people I have met as a result
for all you that have been with me since the start of blogging and for all you that have fallen in over the years--thank you! This has enriched my sobriety in so many ways I couldn't begin to list.

Give something to those who are having trouble, to those whose thoughts are confused, something of your sympathy, your prayers, your time, your love, your thought, your self. Then give of your own confidence, as you have had it given to you by the grace of God. Give of yourself and of your loving sympathy. Give your best to those who need it and will accept it. Give according to need, never according to deserts. Remember that the giving of advice can never take the place of giving of your self.~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

12.04.09

2009-12-04T08:19:00.000-06:00

I want to feel myself part of things, of the great drift and swirl; not cut off, missing things, like being sent to bed early as a child. ~Joanna Field

Today I am grateful…

that I wasn’t counting, but I can remember at least six people yesterday telling me they love me
that the mystery of life seems, these days, more like an adventure. Well, rope me and call me Doty…I never suspected I would feel like that.
that God whispers to my heart
that I listened to a woman who had fifteen facial surgeries to change her looks. She is addicted to plastic surgery. She said she no longer recognizes herself. I, too, find it hard to see the old me in the mirror. I consider that a blessing in life. She doesn’t.
that yesterday in a record store a young man said he knew me. I didn’t recognize him but automatically extended my hand and said, “I’m Scott”. He asked if I worked there. I told him I must have one of those faces and said it was good to see him. I wandered away asking myself just who was it that said those words to a stranger. It certainly wasn’t my old self—the one who would have run from such an experience.

Always seek to set aside the valuations of the world which seem wrong and try to judge only by those valuations which seem right to you. Do not seek too much the praise and notice of men. Be one of those who, though sometimes scoffed at, have a serenity and peace of mind which the scoffers never know. Be one of that band who feel the Divine Principle in the universe, though He be often rejected by men because He cannot be seen. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Nightfly

2009-12-03T20:15:00.000-06:00

6” x 4”, acrylic on plastic

Donation to Visual Aids postcard art auction.

Founded in 1988, as a response to AIDS and as a way of organizing the art world towards direct action, Visual AIDS has evolved a two-part mission. 1) Through the Frank Moore Archive Project, the largest slide library of work by artists living with HIV and the estates of artists who have died of AIDS, Visual AIDS historicizes artists' contributions while supporting their ability to continue making art and furthering their professional careers. 2) In collaboration with artists and organizations, Visual AIDS produces contemporary art exhibitions, publications, and events to spread the message "AIDS IS NOT OVER."

12.03.09

2009-12-03T08:33:00.001-06:00

Spend unbroken chunks of time with the most important people in your life. ~Brian Tracy

Today I am grateful…

to have slept under heavy covers unfretted and unfettered
that somehow I remain honest, open-minded and willing
that last night I watched someone’s face as they listened to their friend share about service work. His face was beaming with love and pride for his friend that has grown greatly over her first six months back in the program.
to have had lunch with three men that have known each other since they were in grade school. They are all sixty-nine years old now.
that my Higher Power delivered a custom made day today

Photo by Mauro Acchione

Living with paradox is part of my sobriety. Things are never quite what they seem. When I think I have something figured out, I am made to be confused again especially around my life, relationships, people, events and the universe. Life is both simple and incomprehensible. God seems to demand an agnostic faith! There is so much I do not know or understand.

But all of this leads to a creative and exciting sobriety. It makes life an adventure. It feeds that artistic part of me that is reborn in my sobriety. Things I used to dislike when I drank, I now enjoy. People and writers that once bored me now fascinate me; even modern art has a spiritual message! ~Fr Leo

12.02.09

2009-12-02T08:07:00.000-06:00

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. ~Joseph Campbell

Today I am grateful...

to have this day and all it holds
that I might have an easier day if I set aside the differences and focus on the similarities
for another day to develop a spiritual connection
that as today unfolds I am filled with gratitude
that it’s decidedly winter in Texas

The photo? I have no idea.

A lot of alcoholics say: "Well there's us, and then there's normal people." Read my lips: There are no normal people. There are just people who haven't shared with you yet. ~Ken D

Chester

2009-12-01T19:17:00.000-06:00

Today I am remembering my sweet Chester. He would have been 20 today.

He has his own Rainbow Bridge posse now. When I hear of someone’s pet crossing over I have him round up his friends and they all run to the Rainbow Bridge to greet them as they make their way over.

I miss him. But he is doing good work.

12.01.09

2009-12-01T09:39:00.000-06:00

If we ask for what we want and need, and get those needs met, we will not be able to punish people, or push them away later on, for disappointing us. ~Melody Beattie

Today I am grateful…

that my world keeps getting bigger. More people come in--my heart keeps expanding to allow that.
that I had my pink/black/white plaid fuzzy slippers to put on this morning
that I did not crash a White House party wearing a sari, drive my Cadillac SUV into a tree or kiss a man on stage
that Launch My Line starts tomorrow night
that I got to raise my hand last night as one celebrating years of sobriety in November

A smile directed at a stranger, a compliment given to a friend, an attitude of laughter, or a thoughtful gesture can send ripples that spread among your loved ones and associates, out into your community, and finally throughout the world. You have the power to touch the lives of everyone you come into contact with and everyone those people come into contact with. The momentum of your influence will grow as your ripples moves onward and outward. One of those ripples could become a tidal wave of positivity. ~Daily Om

Bunny with Leaves

2009-11-30T17:37:00.000-06:00

End of November

2009-11-30T09:47:00.000-06:00

The 'never have's' sit on the sidelines and tell you about all that can't be. Will you join them or will you quietly go about doing the impossible on your own? ~Melody Beattie

Today I am grateful…

for all the times this month I got to raise my hand and say, “I’m Scott, I’m an alcoholic and on the 18th I had six years.”
to have led the God as My Cheerleader workshop with Tink
to be accepted as myself, to sit amongst others and to feel comfortable in my body
for a day of personal errands, tidying up around the studio, a visit to the post office, probably a nap, the invitation to hear a friend tell his story tonight
that sitting here I have no anxiety whatsoever

The program promises peace. Day by day, step by step, we move closer to it. Each time we clearly are touched by someone else, and each time we touch another, carries us closer to a realization of God's presence, in others, in ourselves, in all experiences. The search for God is over, just as soon as we realize the Spirit is as close as our thoughts, our breath. ~Each Day a New Beginning

11.29.09

2009-11-29T08:33:00.000-06:00

Today I have choices. I can stay in a bad mood, I can stay in a bad moment. Or, I can let them pass me by. ~unknown

Today I am grateful…

that as much as I love our Houston Round Up I am grateful it is over. I always get overwhelmed—so many people. My schedule gets disrupted. My alone time is diminished. It will be good to get back to some routine, even if that routine is unscheduled time (which I am lucky to have often).
that I am still surprised when people with whom I have not really had communication call me by my name
that today I have a working knowledge of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. When I was a newcomer I longed to know the language.
for the brilliant delivery of a personal story last night. Our keynote speaker who had been beat to hell and back, who carried a dead baby in her belly as she traveled by bus from NYC to LA detoxing, who had some knowing alcoholic carry her from the bus station in El Paso to a bar so she could get some alcohol into her system so she would not die. A woman so passionate about getting sober she defied anyone to not help her. A drunk who overcame the obstacles placed in front of her. Someone who rose from the ashes and now lives to help others find what was so freely given her. Awesome.

Sometimes, the demands of other people and our confused expectations of ourselves - the messages about our responsibilities toward others - can create a tremendous, complicated mess.
We can even convince ourselves that people pleasing, going against our nature and not being honest, is the kind, honest thing to do!
Not true. Simplify. Back to basics. Let go of the confusion. By honoring and respecting ourselves, we will be true to those around us, even if we displease them momentarily.
To thine own self be true. Simple words describing a powerful task that can put us back on track. ~The Language of Letting Go

Dave’s Boot

2009-11-29T07:15:00.000-06:00

11.28.09

2009-11-28T10:57:00.000-06:00

Other diseases have blood tests and X-rays. We have an inventory. And if you stick around long enough to do it, you'll be actually able take a picture of your alcoholism. You'll actually be able to see your disease. - Scott R.

Today I am grateful...

that practicing gratitude will change a life
that if I really, really pay attention there are plenty of things to keep me right sized
that most days I get huge joy from blogging
for the Round Up play last night. Over the top production numbers and mass hysterical laughter!
that for all the days and all the nights of my recovery I have never once thought I was not on my intended path I chose when I entered this physical body

I will never forget to say thank you to God, even on the greyest days. My attitude will be one of humility and gratitude. Saying thank you to God is a daily practice that is absolutely necessary. If a day is not one of thankfulness, the practice has to be repeated until it becomes so. Gratitude is a necessity for those who are seeking a better life. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Black Friday

2009-11-27T07:39:00.000-06:00

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost by minute, day by day, in all the thousands, small, uncaring ways.~Stephen V. Benet

Today I am grateful…

that yesterday was my seventh consecutive sober Thanksgiving
that I did not overeat, but was pleasantly filled
that Round Up started with a bang with the funniest old queen from Hollywood. He talked about being given Tarytons cigarettes, that they were the first ‘tailor mades’ he had had in a long time. Taryton had a slogan, spoken by someone with a fake black eye “I’d rather fight than switch.”
that I took service positions early in sobriety
that today holds wonderful blessings and I am present to enjoy them

We each have different levels of freedom. What I think of as a box might be unthinkable freedom for you today. In the future, when you look back at your life, you may be amazed at the levels of freedom into which you have naturally grown. Perhaps you are looking around today at the freedom of others in awe and envy. "I could never do that," you might say.
Yes, you can.
And you might.
Feel those wings on your back? They're there. And they're growing each day-- whether you're flying yet or not. ~More Language of Letting Go

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T09:01:00.000-06:00

Forever on Thanksgiving Day; The heart will find the pathway home. ~Wilbur D. Nesbit

Today I am grateful…

for my seventh consecutive sober Thanksgiving
that I achieved sobriety during the gratitude month of November
for the birthday celebratory meeting last night—there were five of us celebrating and we each shared about our year. Then the meeting turned to gratitude, each person called upon chose someone for which they were grateful and why, that person then did the same. It was the most powerful meeting I have ever attended. It sent shockwaves through my heart over and over again.
for the love an alcoholic has in his heart for another alcoholic
for the 12:15 gratitude meeting today and the feast afterward, my nap, food and fellowship with ‘normies’, then the start of our Round Up tonight

Thank you, dear God
For all You have given me,
For all You have taken away from me,
For all You have left me.

~Anonymous

11.25.09

2009-11-25T10:01:00.000-06:00

It's the awareness, the full experience...of how you are stuck, that makes you recover. ~Frederick S. Perls

Today I am grateful…

for late night Scrabble at Starbux
that Bunny is having a big time playing with Belle in the cool weather this morning
that most days I don’t have to do a lot of planning, just let it unfold
that Doreen passed her kidney stone
that I love to raise my hand when the group is asked if anyone is celebrating in the month of November!

Strength comes from giving it away. I remember very early in my recovery process, I told my sponsor I wanted to help others. It was as if I was on fire to give away what I was receiving. Fortunately my sponsor very quietly told me to hang onto that feeling and save it for later. He knew that this fire inside of me could easily be extinguished. I did what my sponsor told me to do. I saved it for later and continued to concentrate on myself. Some time later I was at a meeting, and a newcomer walked in. My sponsor winked at me and told me to go and welcome him. I offered the newcomer a cup of coffee and proceeded to tell him about the time when I first came to a meeting. I could see he was scared, but what surprised me was that I could see myself in his eyes. ~Wisdom for Today

11.24.09

2009-11-24T08:05:00.000-06:00

We are climbing the same mountain, all of us.

Today I am grateful…

for another powerful Beginners meeting. With a newcomer and thoughtful shares she was welcomed in a great way. Even if she doesn’t come back, we all grew a bit during that hour.
that meetings are a way for us to celebrate our sobriety together
that I dreamed I was to draw a portrait of Bill W. for a convention. He was there in the room, with some other long-timers.
that I just saw a commercial for Scrabble Slam
that sometimes sitting in the rooms makes me love everybody and sometimes it makes me want to throw things. Usually it makes me love everybody.

Our particular paths will cross the paths of many others before reaching the top, where we will find full enlightenment. And any path we cross has a special contribution to make to our own progress. We can be grateful for all intersecting paths, no matter how adverse they seem at the time. We can offer all our fellow-travelers real love, and our own trip will benefit manyfold.
We need not be ashamed of our desire for love. Nor need we feel shame that we've bargained for it. But we do need to understand that the kind of love we seek can only be gained when we quit searching for it and simply offer it to all the people in our midst. ~Each Day a New Beginning

11.23.09

2009-11-23T07:39:00.000-06:00

Happiness is not a place to travel to. It's a way of getting there. ~Anonymous

Today I am grateful…

that it behooves me to remember I chose my life experiences when I signed the contract with God as I entered this body
that if you want to see just how good you have it, go see the movie “Precious”
to sit outside in the November sunshine and begin step one with a new sponsee
that at 55 years of age I slept through the night without my bladder awakening me
for the freedom having a God of my own understanding gives me

We shall not cease from exploration.
And at the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time
~T. S. Eliot