12.31.09

For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice. ~Little Gidding II

Today I am grateful…

• for a year of growth, a few growing pains, laughter, new friends, God doing for me what I could not do for myself
• for such abundance for which to be grateful
• that I have been given exactly what I needed for every day on this earth
• for a Higher Power and the fellowship of AA to guide me
• to end a year with no regrets

 

New Year's Eve is a good time to reflect upon the closing year and set our direction for the year ahead. This day reminds us that every day of the year is lived just one at a time. Looking back, we can see a year's change in ourselves. We see the progress we have made on … our journey. Perhaps we see how much stronger we are emotionally. Maybe we see relationships that have developed because of our growing ability to love. Certainly all of us have some things we regret and some changes we mourn. They too have their place today.

As we begin the coming year, let us review our relationship with each of the Steps. We may perceive aspects of our program that call for more attention. One or two particular Steps may speak to our needs at this time or may have been overlooked in this past year. On this last day of the year, we can again turn our lives and will over to the care of a loving God. ~Touchstones

Dichotomy and Social Theory

30" x 30", acrylic on canvas

12.30.09

The essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails. ~Bill W

Today I am grateful…

• for the lenses ordered for my new eyeglasses. Even with a $50 discount they cost close to a month’s rent. Ridiculous. Good news—I may get to barter for my next pair.
• for AA meetings. They are the best show in town.
• for my friend, the editor, schooling me on the overuse of the word ‘that’. She said it was the one of the most overused word. If a sentence can be stated with out ‘that’, then drop it.
• for friends who find Scrabble and flatulence fun. Seriously.
• for a heart that stays light despite the fact my mind wants to make it fearful

Lying can be like sailing choppy waters. The more we lie, the higher the waves get, and the harder the sailing. When we lie, we feel we've failed ourselves and others. We have to work hard to cover up our lies, and the fear of someone finding out is always with us.
If we ask God for courage to tell the truth, we can be like the sailboat on a clear and calm day. We can enjoy the small waves and the light warm breeze we've given ourselves. Honesty is a good habit, and is easy. With a little faith in our own worth, we can choose the calm waters' honesty and apply our creativity to new, growth-oriented activities instead of covering up old mistakes. ~Today’s Gift

12.29.09

When we lie to ourselves, we cannot tell the truth to others. ~Today’s Gift

Today I am grateful…

• that the eye doctor told me yesterday I had a beautiful macula lutea and a beautiful optic nerve. Of course I thanked her.
• that I get excited when I can share my E, S and H
• that I don’t get bent that others have lots of money to spend on stuff. I was in Nordstrom’s yesterday exchanging a shirt given to me for Christmas from a client. She has lots of money. There were people all around spending lots of money on clothes. I can look pretty snappy on not much money spent on clothes. I managed to get two shirts and a gift card for the exchange!
• that I love me some alcoholics
• for the adventure (see below)

The spirit of adventure settles over us slowly sometimes. In the beginning, when those old winds of change blow, we turn our backs, fight, and resist. We just want things to stay the same. Gradually we let go of the need to control. We allow things to change and us to change with them.

We accept the change.

Then we round the corner and find a wonderful lesson there, and then another, and another. Soon we find ourselves looking forward to taking the next step, anxious to see what lies in front of us today.Where will my path lead? Who will I meet? What will I learn? What wonderful lesson is taking place right now?

And the adventure begins to consume us. ~More Language of Letting Go

Why Is It We Are Here?

12" x 12", acrylic on canvas

12.28.09

If you walk with lame men you will soon limp yourself. ~Seaman McManus

Today I am grateful…

• that yesterday’s low blood sugar attack was abated with Mexican food
• that when we were in the book store yesterday I checked the Post Secret books. Inside two were secrets placed by anonymous people. One said “You and I are connected.” The other was written by a woman who lost her love, it told of how she puts his ring on and wonders.
• that today I have a different experience of this odd time between holidays. In my drinking days I would be in the midst of one long binge. Days and nights blurring together. The world a bay.
• that a friendly, understanding voice is just a phone call away, a click of the keyboard, a meeting close by
• to have what i need for this day

                                         Suicide Bunny

As the sore tooth draws our tongue, so do rejections, affronts, painful criticisms, both past and present draw our minds. We court self-pity, both loving and hating it. But we can change this pattern. First we must decide we are ready to do so. The program tells us we must become "entirely ready." And then we must ask to have this shortcoming removed.
The desire to dwell on the injustices of our lives becomes habitual. It takes hours of our time. It influences our perceptions of all other experiences. We have to be willing to replace that time-consuming activity with one that's good and healthy.
We must be prepared for all of life to change. Our overriding self-pity has so tarnished our perceptions that we may never have sensed all the good that life daily offers. How often we see the glass as half-empty rather than half-full!
A new set of experiences awaits me today. And I can perceive them unfettered by the memories of the painful past. Self-pity need not cage me, today. ~Each Day a New Beginning

12.27.09

Everyone wants to be appreciated, so if you appreciate someone, don't keep it a secret. ~Mary Kay Ash

Today I am grateful…

• to have slept fairly well after a day of my allergies kicking my ass
• that I will not spend any time in an airport today
• to watch Belle and Bunny play in the cold and to watch from my warm little comfort zone
• for a Higher Power that sustains my life and sustains my future
• that sometimes patterns work together, sometimes not (see below)

Build your life on the firm foundation of true gratitude to God for all His blessings and true humility because of your unworthiness of these blessings. Build the frame of your life out of self-discipline, never let yourself get selfish or lazy or contented with yourself. Build the walls of your life out of service to others, helping others find the way to live. Build the roof of your life out of prayer and quiet times, waiting for God's guidance from above. Build a garden around your life out of peace of mind and serenity and a sure faith. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

12.26.09

I live today as I want to remember my life. ~Ruth Fishel

Today I am grateful…

• to return to a more normal eating pattern today. That holiday food made me feel toxic.
• that my spirit this Christmas seemed more in tune than in many, many years
• for sober relationships with people that really get me
• that this morning I am not having to deal with any results of having put alcohol into my body yesterday
• that my sister has her son home for the holiday weekend and Lou has her son with her

Anytime we forget to let go, life will jog us back into remembering. There is nothing that we can cling to in this world. Ultimately, all that we hold dear will require us to let go, in some shape or form. That child will grow up and leave home. That love relationship that's going so wonderfully? A new cycle will come, in its time. That friendship will change. That job you thought you'd always have? Oops, the company merged. Your position is changed.

Let yourself bond. Get close to that woman or man. Let yourself enjoy being friends with the best friend you've ever had. Be a loving parent, 100 percent. Throw yourself into that job with all your heart and soul.

But your security and joy are not in that other person or job. The magic is in you. ~More Language of Letting Go

Merry Christmas

12.24.09

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. ~Oren Arnold

Today I am grateful…

• that today is not the start of a long holiday binge
• for double meeting days
• that today I have what I want, I want what I have
• that the basis of my recovery program is one of spirituality, the kind that fits me and supports me. Not something condemning or frightening, but loving and nurturing.
• that today someone will get sober for the first day and someone will relapse after years of sobriety. Today I do not have to be either, but can be supportive.

Many of us have old, painful memories triggered by the holidays. Many of us feel a great deal of relief when the holiday is ended.
One of the greatest gifts of recovery is learning that we are not alone. There are probably as many of us in conflict during the holidays than there are those who feel at peace. We're learning, through trial and error, how to take care of ourselves a little better each holiday season.
Our first recovery task during the holidays is to accept ourselves, our situation, and our feelings about our situation. We accept our guilt, anger, and sense of loss. It's all okay.
There is no right or perfect way to handle the holidays. Our strength can be found in doing the best we can, one year at a time. ~More Language of Letting Go

12.23.09

The darkness of our world awaits you -- not to engulf you, but to be transformed by you. During this Season of the Light, be its Source for all those who search for Joy. ~Neale Donald Walsh

Today I am grateful…

• for a two meeting Tuesday, that I did not totally lose my cool in the midst of simple errands while others were in the frenzy of holiday shopping, a winter afternoon nap, coffee at Starbucks before the Little Table meeting, making and decorating holiday sugar cookies in the kitchen of friends, laughing and cutting up, staying up way too late, falling asleep smiling and grateful, that I might just take a quick morning nap

We have an epidemic of loneliness among men in our world. Everywhere, men are walking around as though in plastic bubbles that prevent contact with others. We are cut off from closeness with our brothers and sisters, our own children, our mates, coworkers, and neighbors. We have learned to play the role, be efficient, and look good. Do we dare let others know how we feel? Will they look down on us? Will they think we're strange?

All this has made us ripe for the diseases of addiction and codependency. Some of us have romanticized the pain of loneliness and glorified it. We sought some comfort for our pain, but we only perpetuated it. Breaking through the barrier to let someone know us can be incredibly difficult. Yet, just to say "I feel lonely" to another person makes us slightly less alone. Going to meetings and working this program provide a way out. The greatest benefits of the program for many of us have been recovery from loneliness and the genuine relationships we have developed. ~Touchstones

12.22.09

Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness. ~Seneca

Today I am grateful…

• for fast and furious iPhone Scrabble games with three friends last night before bedtime
• for peaceful sleep and a snoring pup under the covers next to me
• for the Monday night Beginners meeting. It makes me feel joyous and uncomfortable. I am joyous to be in recovery and it makes me uncomfortable to remember what brought me there.
• for the chuckle I got when someone told me last night they wanted to see my shoe closet
• that there is no punishment, only guidance

Somewhere someone is thinking of you. Someone is calling you an angel. This person is using celestial colors to paint your image. Someone is making you into a vision so beautiful that it can only live in the mind. Someone is thinking of the way your breath escapes your lips when you are touched. How your eyes close and your jaw tightens with concentration as you give pleasure a home. These thoughts are saving a life somewhere right now. In some airless apartment on a dark, urine stained, whore lined street, someone is calling out to you silently and you are answering without even being there. So crystalline. So pure. Such life saving power when you smile. You will never know how you have cauterized my wounds. So sad that we will never touch. How it hurts me to know that I will never be able to give you everything I have. ~Henry Rollins

12.21.09

The acknowledge of your weakness is the first step in repairing your loss. ~Thomas Kempis

Today I am grateful…

• for Christmas dinner with friends that turned out lovely despite our waiter being higher than anyone I have seen in a long time. He was fascinated with the cutlery and making weird motions in the air with his hands. Ca-razy!
• that it’s a cool, crisp December day. I have work to do and am running a bit late, but sticking to commitments
• that no matter how busy life gets, I have had time every morning for me and God
• that my Higher Power walks ahead of me
• for the remembrance of yesterday, the luxury of today and the promise of tomorrow

 

Until we admit defeat, we will not succeed ... The biggest defeat is the one that is dealt to our illusions of self-reliance and self-sufficiency. As long as we insist on trying to control our lives by ourselves, we will be confused. It is by relinquishing control that we gain strength and are freed from our compulsion and obsession. We save our lives by giving them away. ~Food For Thought

12.20.09

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. ~Edith Wharton

Today I am grateful…

• that I am not living in the northeast. Being trapped by snow storms is not where I want to be
• for laughing with friends and fellows to end the day
• that happiness is increased when shared
• that lately God has been giving me the words to say when I am uncertain
• that today and every day are chances to learn

Kindle my heart's flame with thy flame, may thy light banish darkness forever ~Jyota se Jyota

Our Higher Power is the candle. And our hearts, like a mirror, reflect a warm, loving glow. But when we used alcohol and other drugs, we tired to be the candle. We wanted to have control. Many of us acted like this to hide how out of control we felt. We never thought we could be happy by admitting we were out of control. In recovery, we accept that it’s okay to be the mirror. We accept that our Higher Power is the candle that guides us. ~Keep It Simple

12.19.09

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? ~Marianne Williamson

Today I am grateful…

• that while I am a great fan of gray weather it is nice to see the sun shining on this chilly December morning
• that if reality TV shows are any indication of what is real, then we are in a heap of trouble, boy
• for the incredible fare we had last night at Feast
• when our waiter announced his name, “I’m Christian, I’ll be serving you tonight”, I said loudly, “Hi, Christian!” It’s what I am used to. It’s how I roll.
• that this morning I will do my bookkeeping work at Lambda, meet with my sponsor, have lunch with another drunk then go to his home to look at his art and help him choose what and how to price it for his first gallery show

I paid my dues for membership in the program through my years of addictive using. But these are the dues only for membership. In recovery I still need to do my part and accept the responsibilities that come with working the program and following its principles. I am part of a much bigger whole, but I am still only one person. The program provides me with the principles I need to discover the life that is hidden inside of me, the life that my Higher Power wants me to live. I still have to walk the walk. I am given privileges in the program as I get more clean time under my belt. It becomes my responsibility to share in the work of the program. ~Wisdom for Today

12.18.09

Give as much of yourself as you can to as much of your higher power as you can understand. ~S.H.

Today I am grateful…

• for the ease of spirit recovery has given me
• that when I see the Today Show outside Rockefeller Plaza it makes me smile and remember when Dave and I were in NYC and would walk over and watch
• that I love me some alcoholics, even when they act up
• that I want all the promises. Which one would you want to do without?
• that I don't get lonely, my anger subsides fairly quickly, if I get tired I nap and my hunger only comes from watching my food intake

Faith - the sacred place in every person, where we stand alone with God. Each of us must forge our own unique relationship with God, a God who is everywhere and speaks to us in all we do. It is up to us to stop and listen. It is up to us to respond - to begin the conversation. And a conversation is the first step - just as in any relationship - in establishing trust, in building friendship, in creating communion. ~Friendship with God

12.17.09

If you aren't surrounded by people who inspire you, I recommend you find some. It's the only way to fly. ~David N

Today I am grateful…

• that sometimes my thoughts try to get the best of me. They try really hard. Really, really hard—but my Higher Power tries harder to keep me sane.
• for my favorite AA axiom – This Too Shall Pass
• that today I can walk a path of faith
• that if I trip I have tools to help me right myself, and if that fails I can turn to another alcoholic, my Higher Power, or just wait

The way of faith is of course not confined to A.A. It is the way for everybody who wants to really live. But many people can go through life without much of it. Many are doing so, to their own sorrow. The world is full of lack of faith. Many people have lost confidence in any meaning in the universe. Many are wondering if it has any meaning at all. Many are at loose ends. Life has no goal for many. They are strangers in the land. They are not at home. But for us in A.A. the way of faith is the way of life. We have proved by our past lives that we could not live without it. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight.

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, others might be jealous.

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today will often be forgotten.

Be good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough.

Give the world your best, anyway.

You see, in the final analysis it is between you and God.

It was never between you and them, anyway.

 

This was shared by Glenda Mc who told their story today. I thought you would enjoy it.

12.16.09

Do not search for happiness, search for right living and happiness will be your reward.~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Today I am grateful…

• for live Scrabble at Starbucks
• for Words With Friends (Scrabble-like game on my iPhone)
• for rule #62. Don’t take yourself so damned seriously.
• that I have been given today and the ability to make of it what I will
• for all you bloggers that assist my Higher Power in keeping me sober a day at a time

Getting well is an adventure. We have moved out of the repetitious rut of past habits and are reaching into the unknown. There are times when we are anxious and fearful that we will not be able to make it. We are not alone. There is a Higher Power that guides us and an organization of friends who sustain us. The process of getting well is a privilege and a gift. ~Food for Thought

12.15.09

My life would suck without you. ~Kelly, Gottwald, Martin

Today I am grateful…

• that someone dear to me referred to me as their BFF
• that last night God gave me the words to say when I was becoming frustrated with someone
• that if I sit in the rooms of AA for a while, work the steps a few times and work with others—God does for me what I couldn’t do for myself
• for the sounds of rustling wind and leaves blowing against the back glass door
• that I have all I need for today…
• that Mary Christine is one year older today

Life is a process, and we are progressing beautifully. We are no longer abusing our bodies and minds with drugs. We are taking special time, daily, to look for guidance. We are working the Steps of the program, better and better as the abstinent days add up. We are free from past behaviors. And we can be free from our negative attitudes too.
Making a decision to look for the good in our experiences and in our friends and acquaintances frees us from so much frustration. It ushers in happiness, no only for us but for the others we are treating agreeably. Happiness is a byproduct of living the right kind of life. ~Each Day a New Beginning

12.14.09

The human spirit rings with hope at the sound of an encouraging word. ~unknown

Today I am grateful…

• for a hairdresser’s day off
• for holiday fellowship with a bunch of sober drunks and a couple that weren’t quite so sober
• that when I pay attention the light comes on
• for in house laundry--what a luxury
• that I am in acceptance that what I had to go through to get here was what it was. Now I am here and have a life that is satisfying.

 

Being creative moves us toward wholeness as people. As we create on the outside, we are being created on the inside. The way in which we live every aspect of our lives is a creative, growing process and a partnership with God.
As I approach this day, I will have an attitude of creativity that will nurture the wondering child within me. ~Touchstones

12.13.09

Man cannot remake himself without suffering. For he is both the marble and the sculptor. ~Alexis Carrel

Today I am grateful…

• for the overwhelming gratitude I experienced yesterday. It lasted all day. I watched two episodes of Glee and cried like a baby. I love it when my emotions are bubbling at the surface like that, it keeps me in touch with my Higher Power.
• for calls from old friends from far away places
• to have thoroughly enjoyed a holiday party last night. The home of two women was open to so many people, and the house is so HUGE it allowed for a comfortable mixing and didn’t feel crowded. I also got to see people react to two of my paintings (one of which is in the living room and faces a Frances Bacon. OMG!)
• for all the hand holding on the paths to recovery
• that Houston elected the first openly gay mayor of a top ten US city

 

Qzzie and Harriette and the boys

As for uniqueness, there is some truth in this. We all have our own individual personalities. Each of us has our own story. What is truly amazing is that God can speak to us all in a language we understand. I have watched as God turned my life around, unraveling the problems and straightening out my path. I have watched as others come into the program, each with a set of uniquely human problems. If they stick with it, God talks to them in a language they understand; and it works for them. This is a part of the miracle that is God. With such incredible diversity of peoples attending meetings, each with their own unique set of circumstances, it still works. God is the great interpreter for each of us. He makes it possible for us to use these tools and teaches us about a program of recovery. ~Wisdom for Today

12.12.09

I like a man with faults, especially when he knows it. To err is human – I'm uncomfortable around gods. ~Hugh Prather

Today I am grateful…

• to be reminded from a post on Lou’s blog about how I used to wish there were a button I could push to make things better. I now know the WORK is what gets us to where we wish to be. A button like that would not take care of the causes behind my alcoholism.
• that I was willing to do the work, somehow, when I came back into the rooms of AA
• that I have been able to share with a friend how to start painting. He sent me a photo last night of his first layout, and it knocked my socks off.
• that I am more in the mood for Christmas this year than I have been in decades
• that my Higher Power has shown me that in a tear of gratitude holds all the love I need, all the spiritual growth I crave, all the acceptance I need to move me through this life in a human body

Each day, ask God what God wants us to do today; then ask God to help. A simple request, but so profound and far reaching it can take us anywhere we need to go.

Listen: all that we want, all that we need, all the answers, all the help, all the good, all the love, all the healing, all the wisdom, all the fulfillment of desire is embodied in this simple request. We need say no more than Thank You.

This Plan that has been made for us is not one of deprivation. It is one of fullness, joy, and abundance. Walk into it.

See for yourself. ~The Language of Letting Go

12.11.(10).09

The night of the past is gone, this day is ours. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Today I am grateful…

• for the luxury of central air and heat
• for my own washer/dryer combo
• for smiles on happy dogs (below is not Bunny)
• the company of strangers and the comfort of friends
• for shopping sprees at Texas Art Supply

Help me remember that frustration and confusion usually precede growth. If my situation is challenging me, it is because I'm learning something new, rising to a higher level of understanding. Help me be grateful, even in my frustration, that life is an exciting progression of lessons. ~The Language of Letting Go

Pull My Finger

HERE!

12.10.09

If you can just observe what you are and move with it, then you will find that it is possible to go infinitely far. ~J. Krishnamurti

Today I am grateful…

• for the language of Alcoholics Anonymous. I always wanted to be in on things, now I am.
• that I still believe in magic
• for the willingness to do the work, that is God doing for me what I could not do for myself
• that recovery brings out human-ness
• for last night’s topic ‘acceptance’. I need to hear this over and over and over. And then some.

When we were small, we dreamed a thousand dreams about what could happen in our lives. Anything, even magical things, seemed like they could happen, and our world was full of visions. That part of us that believes wonderful, magical things can happen is still in us. It may have been beaten down for a while, but it is still there waiting to help us seek the wonderful, lovely, and good things in life. ~Today's Gift

The Evening Encounter

24" x 30", acrylic on canvas

12.09.09

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Today I am grateful…

• that I never really watched The Biggest Loser other than a few minutes here and there, but last night I saw the last three weigh in and the winner determined. He lost 55% of his weight. There is a euphoria to that kind of weight loss. I have had the experience (not that big a percentage, but 70 pounds is significant). It just shows that the seemingly impossible can be a reality.
• that reality can have a boundary or it can be flexible, it's my perception to which I must pay attention
• for prayers for all those still on the sinking ship
• that my ship is in dry dock

We are all seeking something, but many do not know what they want in life. They are seeking something because they are restless and dissatisfied, without realizing that faith in God can give an objective and a purpose for their lives. Many of us are at least subconsciously seeking for a Power greater than ourselves because that would give a meaning to our existence. If you have found that Higher Power, you can be the means of leading others aright, by showing them that their search for a meaning to life will end when they find faith and trust in God as the answer. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

12.08.09

All animals, except man, know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it. ~Samuel Butler

Today I am grateful…

• that the Monday night Beginners meeting continues to be powerful and always takes me back to thoughts of the beginning of my journey
• that giving back results in receiving more
• that I didn’t get enough sleep last night but I think I will be okay
• that my days have lots of Hallmark moments
• that I have found such joy lately in social interaction. A far cry from the hermit of olden days.

 

Look at the ordinary in your life. How would you feel if it was taken away? Don't just be grateful for successes. Be grateful for and celebrate the ordinary in your world. ~More Language of Letting Go

12.07.09

We are here to add what we can to, not to get what we can get from, Life. ~Sir William Osler

Today I am grateful…

• for last night’s home cooked meal of roast beef with horseradish sauce, mashed potatoes with gravy and fresh green beans
• that my obsession yesterday afternoon with listening endlessly to Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance has subsided
• for a return to more seasonal temperatures here in Texas
• that a sober Monday morning is a great start to any week
• that gratitude, practiced daily, results in a peaceful heart

One of the great gifts of sobriety is learning to see beauty in things not always with
the eyes, but with the feeling of the heart. ~Shelley

12.06.09

The strongest of all warriors are these two --Time and Patience. ~Leo Tolstoy

Today I am grateful…

• that when I detach from the craziness of this world the more peace I find
• that if I pay enough attention today will teach me something I didn't know or perceive yesterday
• for all the things I will forget today for which I am grateful
• that my sober days pass fairly quickly and smoothly. My drinking days passed slowly and painfully.
• that I can give the custodianship of my life to my Higher Power

Celebrate with awe how far you've come in those first few steps of sobriety and in your faith and willingness to let go of your fears. Celebrate those first faltering moments of learning what it meant to take care of yourself. Even now, with each step you take, you are being transformed. Celebrate! ~More Language of Letting Go

12.05.09

Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls. ~Joseph Campbell

Today I am grateful…

• for the snow day we had here in Texas yesterday. Some loved it, some bemoaned it, some drove like it was raining babies.
• for yesterday’s meeting on service, sponsorship and the Grapevine
• for my daily reprieve
• that five years ago today I started publishing this blog, and for where it has taken me and for all the people I have met as a result
• for all you that have been with me since the start of blogging and for all you that have fallen in over the years--thank you! This has enriched my sobriety in so many ways I couldn't begin to list.

 

Give something to those who are having trouble, to those whose thoughts are confused, something of your sympathy, your prayers, your time, your love, your thought, your self. Then give of your own confidence, as you have had it given to you by the grace of God. Give of yourself and of your loving sympathy. Give your best to those who need it and will accept it. Give according to need, never according to deserts. Remember that the giving of advice can never take the place of giving of your self.~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

12.04.09

I want to feel myself part of things, of the great drift and swirl; not cut off, missing things, like being sent to bed early as a child. ~Joanna Field

Today I am grateful…

• that I wasn’t counting, but I can remember at least six people yesterday telling me they love me
• that the mystery of life seems, these days, more like an adventure. Well, rope me and call me Doty…I never suspected I would feel like that.
• that God whispers to my heart
• that I listened to a woman who had fifteen facial surgeries to change her looks. She is addicted to plastic surgery. She said she no longer recognizes herself. I, too, find it hard to see the old me in the mirror. I consider that a blessing in life. She doesn’t.
• that yesterday in a record store a young man said he knew me. I didn’t recognize him but automatically extended my hand and said, “I’m Scott”. He asked if I worked there. I told him I must have one of those faces and said it was good to see him. I wandered away asking myself just who was it that said those words to a stranger. It certainly wasn’t my old self—the one who would have run from such an experience.

Always seek to set aside the valuations of the world which seem wrong and try to judge only by those valuations which seem right to you. Do not seek too much the praise and notice of men. Be one of those who, though sometimes scoffed at, have a serenity and peace of mind which the scoffers never know. Be one of that band who feel the Divine Principle in the universe, though He be often rejected by men because He cannot be seen. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Nightfly

6” x 4”, acrylic on plastic

Donation to Visual Aids postcard art auction.

Founded in 1988, as a response to AIDS and as a way of organizing the art world towards direct action, Visual AIDS has evolved a two-part mission. 1) Through the Frank Moore Archive Project, the largest slide library of work by artists living with HIV and the estates of artists who have died of AIDS, Visual AIDS historicizes artists' contributions while supporting their ability to continue making art and furthering their professional careers. 2) In collaboration with artists and organizations, Visual AIDS produces contemporary art exhibitions, publications, and events to spread the message "AIDS IS NOT OVER."

12.03.09

Spend unbroken chunks of time with the most important people in your life. ~Brian Tracy

Today I am grateful…

• to have slept under heavy covers unfretted and unfettered
• that somehow I remain honest, open-minded and willing
• that last night I watched someone’s face as they listened to their friend share about service work. His face was beaming with love and pride for his friend that has grown greatly over her first six months back in the program.
• to have had lunch with three men that have known each other since they were in grade school. They are all sixty-nine years old now.
• that my Higher Power delivered a custom made day today

Photo by Mauro Acchione

Living with paradox is part of my sobriety. Things are never quite what they seem. When I think I have something figured out, I am made to be confused again especially around my life, relationships, people, events and the universe. Life is both simple and incomprehensible. God seems to demand an agnostic faith! There is so much I do not know or understand.

But all of this leads to a creative and exciting sobriety. It makes life an adventure. It feeds that artistic part of me that is reborn in my sobriety. Things I used to dislike when I drank, I now enjoy. People and writers that once bored me now fascinate me; even modern art has a spiritual message! ~Fr Leo

12.02.09

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. ~Joseph Campbell

Today I am grateful...

• to have this day and all it holds
• that I might have an easier day if I set aside the differences and focus on the similarities
• for another day to develop a spiritual connection
• that as today unfolds I am filled with gratitude
• that it’s decidedly winter in Texas

The photo? I have no idea.

A lot of alcoholics say: "Well there's us, and then there's normal people." Read my lips: There are no normal people. There are just people who haven't shared with you yet. ~Ken D

Chester

Today I am remembering my sweet Chester. He would have been 20 today.

He has his own Rainbow Bridge posse now. When I hear of someone’s pet crossing over I have him round up his friends and they all run to the Rainbow Bridge to greet them as they make their way over.

I miss him. But he is doing good work.

12.01.09

If we ask for what we want and need, and get those needs met, we will not be able to punish people, or push them away later on, for disappointing us. ~Melody Beattie

Today I am grateful…

• that my world keeps getting bigger. More people come in--my heart keeps expanding to allow that.
• that I had my pink/black/white plaid fuzzy slippers to put on this morning
• that I did not crash a White House party wearing a sari, drive my Cadillac SUV into a tree or kiss a man on stage
• that Launch My Line starts tomorrow night
• that I got to raise my hand last night as one celebrating years of sobriety in November

 

A smile directed at a stranger, a compliment given to a friend, an attitude of laughter, or a thoughtful gesture can send ripples that spread among your loved ones and associates, out into your community, and finally throughout the world. You have the power to touch the lives of everyone you come into contact with and everyone those people come into contact with. The momentum of your influence will grow as your ripples moves onward and outward. One of those ripples could become a tidal wave of positivity. ~Daily Om