Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Inversion
Dan Havel and Dean Ruck have turned Studios 1 & 3 of the Art League of Houston into a mesmirizing installation called Inversion. The 'hole' runs through both buildings. The studios are scheduled for demolition after June 2005. Astounding!
Advise for Ladies
Concept V
"We recognize that minorities frequently can be right; that even when they are partly or wholly in error they still perform a most valuable service when, by asserting their 'Right of Appeal,' they compel a thorough-going debate on important issues. The well-heard minority, therefore, is our chief protection against an uninformed, misinformed, hasty or angry majority."
c. 1962, Twelve Concepts for World Service by Bill W., page 22
Procrastination
05.31.05
- for today's word of the day--integrity (noun) honesty, uprightness; soundness, completeness--(synonyms) honor, principle, sincerity
- that I usually behave in a civilized manner
- that the anticipation is usually worse than the anticipated
- to realize that some of my demons are just resting, waiting for another chance, and that I have to be vigilant and do my work
- for psychedelic music
- that I never used psychedelics
- for dog’s smiles
- to marvel at what the human mind has accomplished
- for cleverness in all its forms
- for pulled smoked pork shoulder sandwiches (flattened and toasted), delicious makeshift KY bbq sauce, potato salad, two cobblers (blackberry and peach) with Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream
- to be loved--thanks guys
Monday, May 30, 2005
05.30.05
- for a safe round trip to Waco
- to have found Edie more alert than I expected. She is frail and unable to speak above a whisper, but ate solid food for breakfast. Wednesday is the biopsy and hopefully some direction from her lung doctor.
- that Jim and I were the only visitors for the two hours we spent with her
- for the loving care John is giving Edie
- for the opportunity of renewed focus after last night's relapse dream
- to fall asleep during the thunder and lightening
- for Monday holidays
- that four years ago this weekend I entered rehab, the start of my journey to break the bonds of my alcoholism
Sunday, May 29, 2005
05.29.05
I hope you are all enjoying your Memorial Day weekend. Call someone today you love and tell them how much they mean to you. Be kind to everyone you with whom you come in contact. Give thanks for all the good things in your life. Be grateful for all the things with which you struggle, for those things lead to growth. Take some time to be quiet with yourself. Respect your past and give some thought to where you are going. Be excellent with yourself.
God loves you and so do I and there is nothing you can do about it.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
05.28.05
- to have a car that's paid for, now to get the cd player fixed and the evaporator and related parts replaced
- that tonight is birthday night at Lambda
- to recognize that walking through the hard and uncomfortable stuff is where the growth happens
- that I am feeling no where as fragile as I did yesterday
- that DoughGirl is taking care of her health
- that today I have freedom from cravings
- that even though I do not feel like making this list, I am doing it anyway
- that I have to trust my auto mechanic since I have no knowledge about the workings of automobiles, so I trust Chuck to not rip me off
- for all my art supplies stored in my antique dental cabinet that has all these short drawers, it's like a tall treasure chest
- for the memories of cool Summer nights in Kentucky growing up, playing hide and seek, catching lightening bugs and how black the sky was and how brightly the stars shined
Friday, May 27, 2005
Letting Go
When I met Randall in 1983 I fell in love with someone who was to change my life. It was not long after I met him that I met his mother, Edie. She was living in a little house in Magnolia, TX and we would often drive up to spend a Sunday with her. She had that comfortable, country gal take on life. Very pragmatic and with a wicked sense of humor, she spent a comfortable life in the woods. From the first time I met her she accepted me as family.
Randall is her only child and she loves him unconditionally. She is a very proud supporter of gay rights. She wears her red ribbon pin whenever she gets dressed up. She loves trains, quilting, true crime novels, feeding company in her kitchen and being a passionate Democrat.
It is being at Edie's for Thanksgiving and Christmas that take a firm place in my memory. Randall, Jim (Randall's current partner of twelve years) and I would go to Waco for the holidays over the years. Edie once told me that she always wanted three sons, and now she had them. Who couldn't love someone who would tell you something like that?
Edie is from a large family and they were all taken away by cancer. Yesterday she got that same diagnosis. She has always struggled against asthma, bronchitis and lately emphysema. The cancer is at a stage where it will take her soon. She has decided against chemotherapy. She is planning her own funeral and is ready to face the next phase with grace and dignity. She is truly the hero of her own life.
Today I am grateful to have loved and to have been loved by such a great woman.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
05.26.05
- a New Yorker's great telling of his addiction and recovery
- that today when I realized I hadn't flipped my little globe calendar in two days it wasn't due to a blackout
- for the continuing mystery of Tootie
- that So was honest and can now move into action to do the next right thing uuhhhhhhhhhhh
- for all the chips/medallions given out yesterday
- for the self-propelled motion of my sobriety assisted by my spiritual brothers and sisters and my Higher Power
- that I must not remain motionless in sobriety, if I am not moving away from the drink, I am moving towards it
- that Randall is able today to go to Waco to visit his ailing mom, and the prayers that follow him to her
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
05.25.05
Today I am grateful...
- for growing pains
- for solutions
- for the all inclusive society of AA
- for strengthening support from a spiritual brother
- to be reminded that when I walk through trials and tribulations I am establishing my own sober history, that one day I will sit across from another and be able to share my experience, strength and hope
- for prayers for Edie's health
- for today's thought from Hazelden (see below)
The Fellowship Prayer
Dear Higher Power, I am grateful that: -I am part of the Fellowship, one among many, but I am one. I need to work the Steps for the development of the buried life within me. -Our Program may be human in its organization, but it is Divine in its purpose. The purpose is to continue my spiritual awakening. -Participating in the privileges of the movement, I shall share in the responsibilities, taking it upon myself to carry my fair share of the load, not grudgingly, but joyfully. To the extent that I fail in my responsibilities, the Program fails. -To the extent that I succeed, the Program succeeds. I shall not wait to be drafted for service to my fellow members, I shall volunteer. -I shall be loyal in my attendance, generous in my giving, kind in my criticism, creative in my suggestions, loving in my attitudes. -I shall give to the Program my interest, my enthusiasm, my devotion, and, most of all, myself.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
05.24.05
Quiet minds can not be perplexed or frightened, but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm. -Robert Louis Stevenson
When I surrendered and re-entered the doors of AA a certain calmness followed me. That calmness of mind has, to my delight, stayed with me for over eighteen months. A lot of the old demons of self-esteem and fear have stayed at bay, the incoherent babblings of the shitty committee have quieted a lot. I nourish the calm by attending meetings regurarly, talking with others in recovery, prayer and meditation and lots of free, quiet time for myself and writing about gratitude. This blanket of calm has truly been one of the greatest gifts I have ever received.
Yesterday that sea of calm was tested by the ripples of old thinking and old behavior. There were two small resentments building, against another and against myself. I carried this fear and loathing with me like it was some fragile thing that needed protecting. I knew I was carrying it and I said the Serenity Prayer over and over. Yet I couldn't let it go. Intellectually I knew the problem I was having with another seemingly was threatening my security financially and that I was seeing myself in their behavior. I was also visited by the results of my own sloth, having hurriedly finished with a project that resulted in what could have had some major consequences. Instead of being grateful that the mistake was caught I let it burrow into my psyche like some demonic beetle. I tried over and over to let it go. I went through a mental gratitude list. I was grateful foremost for my sobriety. But I was uncomfortable.
After I got home I distracted myself by reading DoughGirl's blog and others. I ate some dinner. I asked my Higher Power to release me from these fears. I went to R and J's for some TV. On the way over I forced myself to not be agitated by other drivers. I turned off the radio.
Somewhere during the middle of Jeopardy I got outside of myself. Some entertainment to engage my mind, I had hardly any of the right answers to any of the questions and some jocularity with others. I slowly was able to just let go of those anxious and demanding feelings. After I got home I had a long conversation with my HP. I think I fell asleep during and hope I carried it with me as I slept. I woke this morning refreshed and removed from the identification with those behaviors. I have an amends to make and some conversation about what I need ahead of me. I knew all that troublesome stuff would be dealt with, it was the interim I had to survive. And I did. I relied on the tools of my program and was able to have the presence of mind, even during a storm, to focus on the calmness in the eye of the storm.
Monday, May 23, 2005
05.23.05
- sponsee breakfasts
- that we had the longest Spring season I can remember. It has now given way to really hot weather, and not hot in the Paris Hilton kind of hot.
- that once we have prayed, we must get to work
- for a visit yesterday to Waldrop's Feed and Grain. They have all kinds of gardening, household and pet supplies. Puppies, grown dogs, parrots, finches, bunnies, chicks, ducklings, chickens ($13.00!), ducks, wind chimes, plants, garden sculptures and lots more. It's a fun place on Washington Street.
- for Betty the Knitter's lead and story at yesterday's Ask It Basket meeting and to have another knitter in the audience
- for Dave's post on service work. I am seeing myself in that post, and although that makes me a bit uncomfortable, it gives me pause and thoughts about me committing to further service work.
- that today I can call myself more on my own shit
- for PWA, PWA, PWA (pause when agitated) also (practice with awareness)
- that Ken Jennings is back tonight on Jeopardy
Sunday, May 22, 2005
05.22.05
- an old Doors song on the radio
- hot dogs
- coffee on the patio of Hollywood with friends
- pimento cheese with jalapenos on Ritz crackers
- nag champa incense
- Prilosec OTC
- the Saturday morning meditation meeting
- the art of Amadeo Modigliani
- the hales of laughter at last night's Miss Lambda fundraiser
Me and Dave U (Higher Powered) after last night's drag fundraiser
Saturday, May 21, 2005
05.21.05
A belligerent drunk walks into a bar and hollers:"I can lick any man in the place!"The nearest customer looks him up and down,then says: "Crude, but direct. Tell me, is this yourfirst time in a gay bar?"
Friday, May 20, 2005
05.20.05
- that my dear friend Kevin today celebrates one year of sobriety and a new life
- for today's DailyOm meditation: ...don't get caught up in believing that your life has truly reached a standstill. There is always some choice or action, however small or seemingly insignificant, that will help you to abolish your roadblock and move ahead.
- to have truly found an easier and softer way to lead my life through the program of AA
- for the freedom from my own self-built prison
- for moments of silence to remember the suffering addict, both inside and outside the rooms
- for the following, page 19 of the Big Book, that knocked me down when I first read it: Those of us who live in large cities are overcome by the reflection that close by hundreds are dropping into oblivion every day.
- to no longer be one of those who were trapped in that oblivion
Thursday, May 19, 2005
As seen on Yahoo Instant Messenger
Thursday, May 19, 2005
- that if I stay sober for six more months I will have YEARS of sobriety
- that the continuous moment has yet to be broken
- for the feeling of inclusion and no longer having the need to live 'outside'
- to have been able to enjoy the loveliest Spring in 28 years
- for central air conditioning
- for no desire to stand in line at midnight to see the new Star Wars movie
- to chat with William about his art adventures at the de Menil
- to be able to work from home today
- that I have been given the gift to write the last chapters of my life's book with an attitude of gratitude
- for my eighteen month chip
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p 83
My first true freedom is the freedom not to have to take a drink today. If I truly want it, I will work the Twelve Steps and the happiness of this freedom will come to me through the Steps - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Other freedoms will follow, and taking inventory of them is a new happiness. I have a new freedom today, the freedom to be me. I have the freedom to be the best me I have ever been.
Today I celebrate eighteen months of freedom and a new life. I never thought the program of AA would work for me, but when I re-entered the doors of The Lambda Center I had surrendered. It was through surrender that I won the prize. The prize of humility, the wealth of honesty, the support of great friends and the gift of a new life.
Today I live in gratitude.
And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom. --Anaïs Nin
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
My New Art Blog Album
The Art of Scott Woodard
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
- a sixth step meditation. What would my life be like without, say, our arrogance?
- that a smile can melt a heart
- for anxieties soothed by serenity
- for lunch with the sober gang, I miss that
- for first step meetings, they always realign my spirit
- that I am finding it easier to live and let live, there are so many things that are easier to let go of than to hang on to
- that honesty is refining my program
- that the program redefined my life
- that if you Google 'sippiambrose' you will find fifteen pages relating to this blog
Monday, May 16, 2005
Sunday, yesterday
After a bit I went to the bed and asked Chester if he was ready to start his day, picked him up, kissed his sweet head and put him outside. Threw on some jeans and an Hawaiian shirt. Let Chester in and gave him his phenobarbitol inside his potassium bromide chew and headed out for my sponsee's house. I had brought along a copy of TXT magazine in which our friends Paul and Rick were interviewed for an article about gay marriage (they were married in Massachussets). We then left for Harry's for breakfast. J decided she would have lunch from the buffet and the waitress told her she would bring her lunch when she brought her husband's breakfast. This is the second time I have been mistaken for J's spouse, the other was at her doctor's office after her hysterectomy. It's always good for a laugh for two reasons, that someone would assume I am heterosexual, the other that J is seventeen years older (but I guess that's a compliment to her as she does look fabulous). How many husbands would say their wife looked fabulous? We spoke about some step work we are doing.
When I got home I wanted desperately to take a luxury nap, I was full and had stayed up late the night before. Something I cherish being sober, to nap without it being a cure for a hangover. So I gathered up Chester and we snuggled under the covers. I woke two hours later with that awful dull headed feeling because I had forgot to lower the thermostat. Ugh! I had told Beau I would make the Ask It Basket meeting at four so I got in the shower and got dressed.
I love pulling up to Lambda these days. Gone are the days of driving by, circling the block several times and driving home because I could not bear the thought of facing anyone. That was during my first go around in sobriety. I was so terrified of YOU! This was my first time at this meeting, it was small but held in the big room which always means I can't hear a lot of what is said, my hearing being that of a one hundred year old man. The meeting was led by an elder Scotsman with twenty-three years of sobriety. He told part of his story for half an hour and then pulled questions out of the basket. He explained the idea of thinking someone else is sicker than oneself to be that we want sometimes to be superior, that our disease hasn't affected us in the worst ways we hear about. The truth of the matter is that, as alcoholics, we sometimes want to be other than we are--and we are selfish. So we project this kind of superiority. Mine comes from fear, my whole life has been a reflection of the fears I hold close. I am, by attending meetings and doing as suggested, slowly able to let go of fears.
Beau had made some delicious chicken gumbo. This is also an eat and meet meeting. I had a small amount as I was going later to R and J's for dinner. Also had some delicious lemon pound cake. I had time to kill so I just hung out in the smoking lounge. I just hung out. Those old behaviors are changing. In the past I would have raced for the door after the end of the meeting.
When I got to R and J's I noticed how pretty the courtyard is becoming after the management had torn down some of the large hibuscus plants and chopped some down some large ficus trees R had planted. They have been replaced with smaller plants because the management thinks tall plants are a fire hazard. Whatever. J was making potato salad and bussels sprouts and the grill was fired up for some thick cut pork chops. We watched some Simpsons and when the food was ready took it next door to R's to eat. I love the ritual we have. I get to J's and hang out in the kitchen where we talk about lots of things, cut up and laugh a lot. At R's we watch TiVOed game shows, Millionaire, Jeopardy, old reruns of What's My Line and the awful To Tell the Truth.
After I got home I let Chester out, give him his meds again along with an extra treat. Played on the computer some more. Grabbed him up and put him in bed, did my nightly ritual of teeth brushing, etc., got in bed and read some before turning out the lights and being grateful for my sobriety, a day in which I had all I needed, and no regrets. All in all a fairly uneventful day, but one in which I never had a single thought about having any alcohol. A day where I could be of service, take care of me and just enjoy myself. Pretty simple things all in all.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Junk Mail
When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away. When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 37 cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back. It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before the last postage increase, but the cost is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.
Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them back their blank application! If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 37 cents. The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...twice! Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying email is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea. If enough people follow these tips, it will work.
Social Security Scam
Symptoms of Inner Peace
An unmistakable ability to enjoy the moment
A loss of interest in judging other people
A loss of interest in judging self
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others
An inability to worry (this is a very serious symptom!)
Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation
Frequent acts of smiling
An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than to make them happen
An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.
Me, Monument Valley 1989
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Overheard in New York
Taste the Rainbow of Wednesday One-liners
Black kid: He don't know if he's a fag, man. He's at that time, you know, your body's changing.
--Chambers Street station
Twink: Why does every gay bar smell the same?
--Urge, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Scott Anderson
Lesbian: Then I had an epiphany: I realized I had a mullet. And I started to cry.
--17th & 6th
Dramasexual: Do you want to come up to my place and "ease on down the road"?
--1/9 train
Queer: Oh my gawd that dawg looks just like my Janet (I named her after Janet Jackson, god bless her). My dawg's name was Janet, my cat's name was Janet, Janet Janet Janet! And the cat was a boy, too.
--Union Square dog run
Today I am grateful that when I need babysitting there's the internet!
Friday, May 13, 2005
More Mysteries of Tootie
Yesterday afternoon I took Chester for his yearly visit to the vet. He was nervous as hell but all checked out well. He is a healthy old man. Well, the blood results aren't back, but Dr Taffy Tippit was pleased with how he looked.
After getting home I was on an instant messenger chat with my old friend Face from Chicago when my landlady, Mary, called. She said I should move my car because there was a branch from the neighbors live oak tree hanging precariously over the car. I told Facial to hold on and I went out and moved the car to the front of the house. Mary and I stood there wondering when the branch broke. Was it from the huge storms Sunday? Then a breeze caught it and it swayed. As we stood there, not a minute later, the whole branch crashed to the ground! We gasped and just looked at each other. If Snowy had been there, it would have crushed the roof.
Mary and I stood there, dumbfounded. Chillbumps. An upstairs neighbor opened his window to see what the noise was. It was just so surreal.
We started pulling away some of the debris to make a path so I could get back to my little cottage. The branch was healthy looking, but closer inspection showed it was riddled with disease. We were able to break off most of the branches with our bare hands. The tree belongs to the neighbor to the right of the picture. We thought the tree service would have to be called, but nature took care of that. Now we have to wait for Mary's beau, Don, to get here to gas up the old chainsaw.
It shows, once again, that Tootie works in mysterious ways.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
05.12.05
- for another's great story of rising from the ashes of addiction
- that my mind is clearer than it has been in years, and although the fog lingers, I have some of those fancy fog lights to see my way through the darker times
- for pan seared fresh salmon, roasted new potatoes and asparagus
- for Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Jeopardy and What's My Line--daily staples for trivia junkies
- to walk through tough decisions and uncomfortable situations
- for Marsha (28 years) and Diane (25 years), the years have been good to this couple
- to see a crusty old lesbian dressed all in pink
- for increasing daily focus on living honestly
- for the billions of times God has taken human form
- that the hope, strength and experience of so many have invaded my consciousness
"Henrietta D. (wife of A.A. number three) recalled Dr. Bob's saying, 'If the speaker doesn't say exactly what you think he ought to say, don't criticize. He may be saying exactly what the man in the back row wants to hear.'"
c. 1980, Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, page 272
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Sobriety Birthday
Your Birthdate: November 18 |
Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests than you are one who can work well with a group, but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity. There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself. You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator. You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous; a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas. Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed. There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others. Oddly enough, you don't expect as much in return as you give. |
Information
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. That’s like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes...lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
5.11.05
- for guidance from my sponsor and my spiritual brothers
- to be reminded that my reactions may affect another's serenity
- for appropriate actions
- that my dharma is to do the absolute best with what I have, remember God with humility and to be of service as I am able, to live as honestly as possible and to seek the lessons I am supposed to learn
- that Larry and his Subaru are ready for The Amazing Race
- for my quiet little peaceful life
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
A Gay Old Time
Shortly, a gay man came in the bar, looked around, and said to the bartender, "I think I'll have the buffet."
Monday, May 9, 2005
Rest
Go very slowly, very quietly, from one duty to the next,
taking time to rest and pray between. Do not be too busy.
Take everything in order. Venture often into the rest of God
and you will find peace. All work that results from resting
with God is good work. Claim the power to work miracles
in human lives. Know that you can do many things through
the Higher Power. Know that you can do good things through
God, who rests you and gives you strength. Partake regularly
of rest and prayer.
05.09.05
- for relaxing weekends
- for the privilege of attending Jim's theatre organ mini-concert
- that, more than likely, this headache I woke with will pass
- for yesterday's incredible thunderstorms
- to have visited an AA brother (from Paducah also) in the hospital with two of my favorite people
- for lunch with Dennis R and the strength of his program
- for the constant support of DU
- for A&E's presentation of 'Intervention'
- that today I have no desire to drink alcohol
- for recovering bloggers
Sunday, May 8, 2005
Just for Today
In a way, addiction is a great teacher. And if addiction teaches us nothing else, it will teach us humility. We hear it said that it took our very best thinking to get to NA (AA). Now that we're here, we're here to learn.
The NA (AA) Fellowship is a wonderful learning environment for the recovering addict. We aren't made to feel stupid at meetings. Instead, we find others who've been exactly where we've been and who've found a way out. All we have to do is admit that we don't have all the answers, then listen as others share what's worked for them.
As recovering addicts and as human beings, we have much to learn. Other addicts- and other humans- have much to teach us about what works and what doesn't. As long as we remain teachable, we can take advantage of the experience of others.
Just for today: I will admit that I don't have all the answers. I will look and listen to the experience of others for the answers I need.
Friday, May 6, 2005
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Why "walk the walk" when you can just "talk the talk?"
Why save your ass at the cost of losing your face?
Remember, it's better to LOOK good than to FEEL good
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Thursday, May 5, 2005
What it was like, what happened and what it is like now
It is one of the great wonders of AA to hear my story told with someone else's script.
If you are interested in reading the stories of other alcoholics you may be moved and inspired. We, as humans, are all fighting the same great fight, to love ourselves and to love others. I challenge you today to look at your life and dare to see your own greatness.
Wednesday, May 4, 2005
I've Been Tagged!
The rules are to pick 5 occupations out of the list and complete the phrase. Add a couple of your own occupations to the end of the list then pass it on to at least 3 people.
The List:
If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...(by Ogre)
If I could be a bonnie pirate...(By Teach)
If I could be a servicemember...(By Jeremy)
If I could be a business owner...(By Blue 944)
If I could be an actor... (By Blue 944)
If I could be an agent...(By KelBel)
If I could be video game designer...(By KelBel)
If I could be a comic book artist...(By Stoli)
If I could be a hooker...(By Pollo Loco)
If I could be a crack addict (by Elizabeth)
If I could be a porn star (by Elizabeth)
If I could be a mime (by Garrison)
If I could be a domestic engineer (by Rick)
If I could be a chimney sweep (by laine)
If I could be a masseuse (by laine)
If I could be a taxi driver (by Brian)
If I could be a priest (by Brian)
If I could be a window cleaner (by Grace)
If I could be a gynecologist (by Grace)
If I could be a world leader...(by Scott)
If I could be a healer...(by Scott)
If I could be an architect I would want to build giant monolithic structures that would house beautiful works of art and writings that would inspire children to be great and mankind to be humble.
If I could be a writer I would want to instill in the hearts of many just how great life can be. That with a kind word or a smile you can change the world for someone.
If I could be a chef I would be able to pay back all the wonderful meals I have been served.
If I could be a bonnie pirate I would rob politicians and world leaders of their greed and dishonesty, and from those that hate others just because they are different, I would steal the control of their bowels.
If I could be a scientist I would work to remove the ridiculous idea of Creationism.
Now, to pass this on:
Dave, how could I not ask Dave?
And Larry is ready for service work, I think.
And a share from DoughGirl would be great!
The Independent Blonde
c. 2003, Experience, Strength and Hope - Stories from the First Three Editions of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 218
// Nancy F., "The Independent Blonde," passed away during mid-April at the age of 97. She was 57 years sober and gave a rousing speech at the 2000 International Conference in Minneapolis. //
Tuesday, May 3, 2005
April 18, 1926 - May 3, 1999
My sister posted a comment today that I am turning into her second blog post:
I remember the woman in Mother's nursing home that thought she owned the place, would complain about everyone leaving the lights on and how she was tired of paying such high electric bills. She also took inventory of her purse, saying the silliest things about items, such as KitKat wrappers, etc. Mother and I used to laugh and laugh at her. That was when she still knew who I was and where she was. That didn't last long however. It wasn't long after she entered the nursing home that the ALS and demtia took her from us. She was still there in body, but she had no idea who we were nor what was going around about her. I remember the days that she and I laughed at that woman, Mother would write on her pad funny things--that was how we communicated in those last days that she knew me. Eight years later (after not knowing me or my siblings) she finally passed. It was 6 years ago today at 4:30pm. It was a relief to us that she was finally free of the body and the disease that kept her captive, but it was still hard to say goodbye. But God did allow her to hear my last words to her......"I will see you in Heaven." She then passed and I believe is now singing and laughing in Heaven as we speak. Today has been a hard day for me but I am grateful for her mothering, her friendship and the beauty that she brought into a room. I can only hope that I can be half the loving mother to my kids that she was to us. I remember her telling me once that the most thing that she missed having was a cup of coffee. I miss her greatly but she lives on in my heart, that of my brothers and is always with my family.
So here's to you Mom. Job well done in raising wonderful, productive children while dealing w/a difficult situation while we were growing up. I love you, I admire you, and I know that you now know just how much you did for me.
Tootie
Later in the show something mysterious happened and Larry said, "Tootie works in mysterious ways."
Tootie has been working in mysterious ways in my life for a long time, it just took me a while to recognize it and let it happen.
So, I just wanted to say, "Thanks Tootie!"
05.03.05
One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "Carry on, ma'am."
As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding Captain Happy in his hand. "Oh, good grief," said Ethel, "Not the breathalyzer again!"
________________________________________
A man died and went to heaven. St Peter asked, "What denomination are you?" and the man said "I don't belong here, I didn't go to church". St Peter said "Well, we don't make mistakes, you belong here, lets just walk around and you can see where you'd like to stay."
So they walked down the hall and St Peter opened a door. There were many pews with people kneeling and praying and crossing themselves. "Who are they?" asked the man. "Those are the Catholics" answered St Peter. "Well, I don't want to stay here" said the man and they walked on down the hall.
St Peter opened the next door. Inside were many pews with people sitting straight up staring straight ahead. "Who are they" asked the man. "Those are the Protestants" answered St Peter. "Well, I don't want to stay here" said the man, and they walked down the hall.
The next room they came to, St Peter opened the door a big smell of coffee came out. The man looked inside and there were all these people laughing and hugging, then they got in a big group hug and said the Serenity Prayer. The man said "I like these people, who are they?" St Peter said "I don't know, they won't tell us."
Anonymity in Heaven?
Monday, May 2, 2005
05.02.05
- that many have started with their first twenty-four hours and turned them into years
- that I have been given the grace to put together 531 days
- for KISS--Keep It Simple Scott
- for the gift of service. To give away what I have helps me build a stronger program.
- for wounds mended
- for a little more clarity as each day passes
- for faith in my ability to grow and change
- that I try to not throw stones even though I don't live in a glass house
- for time spent with nature yesterday
- for mashups downloaded off the internet
Sunday, May 1, 2005
05.01.05
- for last night's April birthday celebration, lots of love and laughter
- to have seen Richard, I don't get to see him enough
- that two people from my home group celebrated, William with 8 years, Norris with 23 years
- for delicious birthday cake, thanks Dave!
- that I get to meet with my sponsee at 11 a.m.
- that I get to meet with a new sponsee at 1 p.m.
- for the words of a one year celebrant last night, "I never thought this would happen, I just drank so much". That said it all for me.
- for the manifestation of the 12 steps as sensitivities in my consciousness
- for big words...LOL...and small ones
Anti-gay Violence Continues to Rise
The increase has been attributed to the striking down of sodomy laws, the fight for marriage rights, anti-gay state ballot initiatives and the "demonization" of lesbians and gay men during the past election cycle. Executive Director Clarence Patton: "In the last edition of this report it became all too clear that with respect to violence, the nation's LGBT communities had entered a very new, and very dangerous era in which all of us were under attack at levels not seen in recent years."