05.21.05

A drunk, in a brief period of time, ran his car across one neighbor's lawn, threw up in another's living room, treated the whole neighborhood to a high-decibel shrieking session with his wife, acted as a one-man demolition crew at a party down the block--and then had the sheer, undiluted gall to reply to his wife, when she suggested a visit to AA might be in order, "Who, me? What on earth would the neighbors think?"

A belligerent drunk walks into a bar and hollers:"I can lick any man in the place!"The nearest customer looks him up and down,then says: "Crude, but direct. Tell me, is this yourfirst time in a gay bar?"