Masoleum (Halicarnassus)

24" x 30", acrylic on canvas
5th in the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World series

01.31.09

Creativity is not limited to artistic or literary pursuits. Creativity can be successfully applied to any undertaking. Make each effort fun and interesting by applying some delightful creativity to it. Get creative, and enjoy more success than ever before. ~Ralph Marston

.

Today I am grateful...

• that I have new business cards to hand out to anyone that will accept one
• that last night I discovered Closer to Heaven, a stage musical written and scored by my favorites--The Pet Shop Boys. I don't know how I missed this since it was first performed in 2001...oh, yeah, I was drunk during that time.
• for the interesting, interesting dream about him
• that I spoke with my sister yesterday several times. She is quite happy and just a little inconvenienced by their power outage. Joe went yesterday to get a generator, but no luck. His nephew works for Home Depot and is unloading 200 of them today and is saving them one. Joe has 25 gallons of gasoline to start with. Stephanie went to her father's in town, he lost power for only one day. Anyway, she is staying put with the dogs and the horses. She also thanks all of you for your prayers and support.
• that I have no right to complain today. I do have a slight headache, but I am not complaining.

Drinking cuts you off from God. No matter how you were brought up, no matter what your religion is, no matter if you say you believe in God, nevertheless you build up a wall between you and God by your drinking. As a result, you have that terrible remorse. When you come into A.A., you begin to get right with other people and with God. A sober life is a happy life, because by giving up drinking we've got rid of our loneliness and remorse. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Trailboss Under Ice

Joe, my sister's husband, called me yesterday when he was in town (Paducah, KY)--they have no land line and no cell phone reception, but he got reception in town so he called everyone from there. They are probably without electricity until sometime next week. The ice has left 90% of the area in Graves County without power. They have a propane heater, and plenty of food on hand, so they will survive. But I am not so sure about So's sanity! I would go crazy. It's a little disconcerting to not be able to reach her.

.

More news when I hear something.

01.30.09

What we must realize is that we cannot see everything. We do not know everything. More important, we must understand that it is impossible for us to control anything. The process of life is a spiritual one, governed by invisible, intangible spiritual laws and principles. ~Iyanla Vanzant

.

Today I am grateful...

• that today I have nothing to prove to anyone
• for warm prayers for everyone in the cold today (thanks, Boston)
• that I have no interest absolutely in the Super Bowl, other than during the game is the best time to grocery shop
• to be surrounded by books, art supplies and music. What luxuries!
• for a loving sponsor that always lifts everyones spirits
• for friends that love me and protect my sobriety
• for a little black and white companion with a Betty Boop head
• to live in the grace of a Higher Power

Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being. ~Johann W. von Goethe

01.29.08

I don't have a drinking problem today, I have a sobriety problem. If I pick up a drink, I've got a whole new problem. - Barney M.

.

Today I am grateful...

• that Pam wrote "best of our ability improves immensely as we stay sober"
• that today I am not flat on my back (see quote below)
• for hope that my sister and clan won't be the ones expected to get their power back in the middle of February
• that I have so many choices today and a fairly clear head with which to make them
• that I am in acceptance that what I had to go through to get here was what it was. Now I am here and have a life that is satisfying.

We heard no more of Fred for a while. One day we were told that he was back in the hospital. This time he was quite shaky. He soon indicated he was anxious to see us. The story he told is most instructive, for here was a chap absolutely convinced he had to stop drinking, who had no excuse for drinking, who exhibited splendid judgment and determination in all his other concerns, yet was flat on his back nevertheless. ~BB, pg. 40

01.28.09

It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de St. Exupery

.

Today I am grateful...

• that my sister and her family are warm and dry, but without electricity after the last two nights of ice storms. Their area was hit hard and most are without power.
• for the grace that supports today's blessings and gives me their experience
• that we are all fighting the same battle, in some ways
• for commitments
• for solutions

[T]here's magic in what we believe. Our beliefs tell our future better than any crystal ball or psychic can. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he, one holy book says. Be mindful of your thoughts and beliefs. What you think and believe today, whether it's I can't or I can, is what you will manifest tomorrow. ~More Language of Letting Go

01.27.09

When you are lying you are only half alive, because of the fear of being found out. When you come into A.A., and get honest with yourself and with other people, that terrible load of lying falls off your shoulders. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

.

Today I am grateful...

• that someone with whom I used to ride the school bus found me through Facebook. It was bus #49 with its spray painted black polka dots covering the entire back side and driven by Mrs. Rudolph. She wrote "we rode the bus from Hell together". It was. We hated it. But she could turn her eyelids inside out and that made it a little more tolerable. Thanks, Jill.
• that a lot of that shame I carried back then has been lifted
• for a great evening last night of an art exhibit at HCC Main Campus (which truly inspired me) and dinner and conversation afterwards
• that it will be an adventure to see what special stuff today holds for me
• that the winter ice storm will miss us in South Texas. Y'all Northerners take care!

Nobody has the competence or understanding to tell us how we should live, nor should we try to control other people. We have a big job to do in overcoming our own problems. We have neither the time nor the wisdom to run other people's lives. ~Walk in Dry Places

Bunny Turns 3 Today!

01.26.09

Higher Power, I know I'll never understand everything, but will you please teach me something interesting today? Thank You. ~Hazelden meditation

.

Today I am grateful...

• that, wow, I could have had a V-8...except I can’t abide anything with tomato juice in it
• for treasure trails seen under the edge of tee shirts
• to be conscious enough today to pay attention
• for k d lang’s ‘Constant Craving’ and that my constant craving is gone
• that it's another Monday, and if we are sober then we are on a level playing field

With characteristic intemperance, however, some of our newcomers cared not at all for secrecy. They wanted to shout A.A. from the housetops, and did. Alcoholics barely dry rushed about bright-eyed, buttonholing anyone who would listen to their stories. Others hurried to place themselves before microphones and cameras. Sometimes, they got distressingly drunk and let their groups down with a bang. They had changed from A.A. members into A.A. show-offs. ~12&12

01.25.09

I can't get too cocky around AA. I can be a peacock one day and a feather duster the next. ~Unknown

.

Today I am grateful...

• for a late night conversation with another alcoholic
• that I have been steadfast in the maintenance of my recovery program
• that I NEVER have to do it by myself again
• that I was thrown back into the ocean (see quote below)
• that during laughter, nothing else exists
• that truth and love are always victorious
• that the road traveled is easier when my baggage is light

A man was walking on a beach after a storm. Thousands of starfish were stranded on the shore. He saw a boy throwing starfish back into the ocean and asked the boy why. The boy replied, "The tide is going out, the starfish will die in the sun." The man said, "But there's so many of them, what difference can it make?" The boy threw another starfish and said, "It'll make a difference to that one." ~Anonymous

01.24.09

The highest rank in AA: Sober. ~Ken

.

Today I am grateful...

• that this headache I woke with will eventually fade away. bleh
• that I get to meet with my sponsor today
• that I do not feel that I am not worthy of sobriety and recovery. It makes me so sad to hear an alcoholic say that. If you have a child, would you not believe with all your heart that your child deserves the best from life, that it enjoy all the happiness it can? Why would a loving Higher Power create something, in its image, for it to be miserable?
• that deserving doesn't automatically mean free without doing the work
• or my new eating plan which leaves me feeling clearer and lighter

Norman V. Peale wrote that "God runs a beauty parlor," meaning that plain people with gracious thoughts tend to become more attractive as years wear on. We need not fear our own thoughts and feelings if we are continuing to work the program. As the sober years stretch out, we will be improving our thoughts and feelings, and this will tell others what the program is doing for us and through us. ~Walk in Dry Places

Gross me out, why don't you?

01.23.09

If you wish to live in a positive world, be a positive person. If you desire peace, then be completely at peace with yourself. Life is a mirror that reflects your most authentic self back to you. It flows from the inside out. ~Ralph Marston

Today I am grateful...

• that someone cares enough to send the very best, thanks Pam and Syd It's the Lemonade Award for great attitude and great gratitude.
• for the quiet comfort that only an animal provides
• that I love it when my daily meditations match my mood and I get to share them with y'all
• that I know when I get to stop living with artificial heat my boogers will not be bloody anymore
• that someone said to me yesterday, "It seems you life has never been fuller." That brought me joy to hear.

The idea of turning our lives and our will over to the care of God is a very revolutionary thing to do. We are being told, "Let go of your excessive carefulness. Let the spirit guide you." When we are in touch with ourselves, with the people around us, with God, we are free to experiment. We don't learn from doing the same things correctly again and again. We learn from trying new things and making mistakes. Over control is spiritually deadening. This is a program of life. Our renewal is a miraculous event. Why stop now? We can be in touch with the messages around us without trying to control the outcome. When we let God do the worrying, we find many possibilities open up. As this adventure of life unfolds, I will not shy away from it. ~Touchstones

Sentinel Longitude

12" x 24", acrylic on wood box

01.22.09

Other diseases have blood tests and X-rays. We have an inventory. And if you stick around long enough to do it, you'll be actually able take a picture of your alcoholism. You'll actually be able to see your disease. - Scott R.

.

Today I am grateful...

• that practicing gratitude will change a life
• that if I really, really pay attention there are plenty of things to keep me right sized
• that most days I get huge joy from blogging
• to have awakened at 5AM this morning and then being to crawl back under the heavy covers on my bed and fall back to sleep with Bunny cradled under my arm
• that for all the days and all the nights of my recovery I have never once thought I was not on my intended path I chose when I entered this physical body

I will never forget to say thank you to God, even on the greyest days. My attitude will be one of humility and gratitude. Saying thank you to God is a daily practice that is absolutely necessary. If a day is not one of thankfulness, the practice has to be repeated until it becomes so. Gratitude is a necessity for those who are seeking a better life. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Funny

01.21.09

The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness. ~Barack Obama

.

Today I am grateful...

• that I got to see Zane yesterday as he celebrated 17 years of sobriety!
• that yesterday I had it all...emotions, feelings, tears, laughter. I took care of myself by eating right, praying, trusting--all the time knowing I was where I was supposed to be.
• that life is amusing if you look at it just the right way
• that I do not believe ALL I hear. I must temper it with a little sanity, self-reflection and experience. What I will believe without questioning is your experience.

Ask and you shall receive, Seek and ye shall find, Knock and it shall be opened unto you. ~Matthew 7:7

Aretha Franklin's inauguration hat inspires church ladies and drag queens nationwide.

01.20.09

On this day of your life, _______(insert your name), God wants you to know that today will you have an opportunity to attend your own inauguration.

You are invited by life to elect yourself a Spiritual Leader, and to take office today. What does a spiritual leader say? A spiritual leader does not say, "Follow me." A spiritual leader says, "I'll go first."

Decide today to take the oath: I promise to "go first" in demonstrating forgiveness, compassion, understanding, generosity, kindness, cheerfulness, positivity, and love. ~Meditation from Conversation with God

.

Today I am grateful...

• that I was born an American
• that our republic was founded on the principles of democracy
• that I have a God of my understanding
• for the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous
• that on my last breath I feel pretty sure I can say to myself, "I did a good job."

Today I humbly ask my Higher Power for the grace to find the space between my impulse and my action; to let flow a cooling breeze when I would respond with heat; to interrupt fierceness with gentle peace; to accept the moment which allows judgment to become discernment; to defer to silence when my tongue would rush to attack or defend. I promise to watch for every opportunity to turn toward my Higher Power for guidance. I know where this power is: it resides within me, as clear as a mountain brook, hidden in the hills- it is the unsuspected Inner Resource. I thank my Higher Power for this world of light and truth I see when I allow it to direct my vision. I trust it today and hope it trusts me to make all effort to find the right thought or action today. ~Daily Reflections

A Beautiful Day

It's a sunny and mild January afternoon. Bunny and Lucy are out there
taking advantage of the sunshine.

01.19.09

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. ~Martin Luther King, Jr

,

Today I am grateful...

• that meetings keep my tear ducts working
• for Boston's powerful lead at yesterday's Came to Believe meeting
• that today I can ask for what I want or need, I do not have to accept things exactly as they are if another way may benefit me more
• that today I remain in amazement that I was willing to do the work to get and stay sober
• that my thoughts have been rearranged from those of a crazy alcoholic to those of a sober man in recovery

As an alcoholic I was selfish and demanding, wanting my way all the time. Sobriety teaches me that "the way" must include others; my fellow men are part of my life and journey. I cannot live in isolation and be sober. ~Fr Leo

01.18.09

Love acts the part, and even people who cannot define love will respond to it. If love is present in our AA activities, it will cover a multitude of sins and will make up for many other shortcomings. ~Walk in Dry Places

.

Today I am grateful...

• for all the love in my life today
• for comments from lurkers who qualify why I am here on the 'interwebs' every day
• for the slow, mature changes a life in recovery brings
• that my reality is less fantasy based than it used to be
• that my dreams today do not seem too far fecthed as I have had some great accomplishments in my sobriety

Through morning prayers and meditation, we embark upon the day spiritually prepared. Without this preparation, we enter the day with yesterday's anxieties - our own and those of millions of others. ~Marianne Williamson

Just 'Cos

01.17.09

Remind yourself often of how fortunate you are. The more you realize and recall your good fortune, the more good and valuable things you can do with it. Your true fortune has little to do with the size of your bank account or your material assets. The greatest fortune you have is life itself, and the opportunity to live each moment with awareness and effectiveness...

.

Today I am grateful...

• that I snapped in time to figure out how to redeem my UVerse rewards from AT&T. They make those things so complicated because they count on you not doing it right or forgetting to do it all together. I am getting a $100 check and a Visa gift card value of $100.
• that I am thinking of taking Tuesday off to watch history unfold
• that I applied for, and got, a life upgrade from the program of Alcoholics Anonymous
• for Honesty
• for Openmindedness
• for Willingness

There is endless fortune in your ability to choose what to do with each moment. There is limitless fortune in your capacity to feel love, awe, compassion, gratitude and pure joy. Spend some time each day thinking about how truly fortunate you are. Let the warm feeling of that magnificent fortune permeate your awareness.

.
Your very existence has such great and irreplaceable value that it's impossible to even imagine the full extent of it. Resolve today to make good use of all that value. The great fortune of your life is here and now. Live it with joy and meaning. ~Ralph Marston

01.16.09

Our lives are made up of a complex network of pathways that we can use to move from one phase of life to the next. For some of us, our paths are wide, smooth, and clearly marked. Many people, however, find that they have a difficult time figuring out where they need to go next. ~Daily Om

.

I am grateful for the 3rd and the 11th steps.

.

Calm your thoughts and be peaceful. Know that all is well, all the time. This moment is already the best it can be, and is everything it can be. Accept it and move forward. Do not fear the worst, for your thoughts of fear give great power to whatever it is you fear. Instead, sincerely expect the best and you create the best. ~Ralph Marston

.

I am grateful for 'more will be revealed' and 'you are where you are supposed to be'.

.

Prayer and meditation are ways to improve our personal relationship with a Higher Power to benefit our life, our growth, and us. Praying is how we connect with God. We don't pray because we have to; we pray because we want to. It is how we link our soul to our Source. ~The Language of Letting Go

.

I am entirely grateful for 'a God of my understanding'.

01.15.09

Do what makes you happiest. Look upon what gives you joy. Speak to those who warm your heart. Listen to that which lifts your spirit. Surround yourself with sights and sounds and people who give you pleasure. For all the happiness you give to others all year long, give yourself the perfect day. ~May You Be Blessed

.
Today I am grateful...

• for the healthy foods I ate yesterday
• that Starne's BBQ back home did not burn up despite my sister's hateful attempt to make me believe it
• for yesterday's speaker who entranced us with her serenity and love for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous
• that I am madly in love with my life at this moment
• that I feel I am making strides in my life program
  

Sitting at a meeting and sharing how much you love everyone in the room is meaningless if you fail to help cleanup, talk to the newcomer, inquire after the old-timer, and make sure everyone has a ride home. My well done is better than my well said. ~Pocket Sponsor

.
Alcohol is a great remover. It removes stains, inhibitions, worries, jobs, families, freedom, choices, dignity, livers, -- and lives. ~Anonymous

Magritte, Souvenir de Voyage

01.14.09

AA doesn't say we can't have personalities, it just says we put principles before them. ~Liz J.
.

Today I am grateful...

• for the beautiful snow falling on TV and that we are not experiencing it locally
• that I can behave in grocery stores
• that I got to have lunch yesterday with someone who will soon be moving back to California. I got to know him a little better.
• that there are plenty of highly smart and really funny alcoholics in the world
• that I can be sure, in a world that is constantly changing, that a program of recovery keeps me on the straight (no pun intended) and narrow

Practicing Step Three is like the opening of a door which to all appearances is still closed and locked. All we need is a key, and the decision to swing the door open. There is only one key, and it is called willingness. Once unlocked by willingness, the door opens almost of itself, and looking through it, we shall see a pathway beside which is an inscription. It reads: "This is the way to a faith that works." In the first two Steps we were engaged in reflection. We saw that we were powerless over alcohol, but we also perceived that faith of some kind, if only in A.A. itself, is possible to anyone. These conclusions did not require action; they required only acceptance. ~12 & 12

01.13.09

Although drinking behavior may have been defiant and antisocial, most of us wanted others to think well of us. If we are not watchful, this need for approval can tyrannize us in sobriety. ~Walk in Dry Places

.

Today I am grateful...

• for coffee, sharing and laughter with AP yesterday afternoon in her back yard
• for this odd event. Sunday night R&J&I were watching Jeopardy. The final question category was Advertising Icons and this picture of Speedy Alka-Seltzer popped in my vision--I could almost literally see it in front of me. I said out loud, "Speedy Alka-Seltzer" The answer, which really is a question, stunned me...What is Speedy Alka-Seltzer?
• for my loved ones, here and there
• that if I swim with the flow my arms get less tired
• that by letting my mind rest on a firm middle ground the less crazy I get

We are what we think
All that we are arises with our thoughts
With our thoughts we make the world.
Speak or act with an impure mind
And trouble will follow you
As the wheel follows the ox that draws the cart.

We are what we think
All that we are arises with our thoughts
With our thoughts we make the world.
Speak or act with a pure mind
And happiness will follow you
As your shadow, unshakable. ~Dhammapada, Buddha

01.12.09

You cannot lift a thousand pounds all at once. Yet you can lift one pound a thousand times. In the repetition of your thoughts and actions, there is great power. ~Ralph Marston

.

Today I am grateful...

• that today feels like winter but we don't have the nasty weather
• that we filled all positions at the Lambda board meeting yesterday
• for laughter and fellowship afterwards
• that I finished the fourth in a series, The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, yesterday. See post below.
• that today I will strive to watch my pride and not make demands
• that you can listen to Donna Summer's Macarthur Park Suite from my side bar

I will say thank you to God for everything, even the seeming trials and worries. I will strive to be grateful and humble. My whole attitude toward the Higher Power will be one of gratitude. I will be glad for the things I have received. I will pass on what God reveals to me. I believe that more truths will flow in, as I go along in the new way of life. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Zeus at Olympia

24" x 30", acrylic on canvas

01.11.09

An attitude of gratitude cuts through analysis paralysis. ~James A.

.

Today I am grateful...

• that this day holds miracles and I am blessed to see them
• that as much as I hate artificial heat, I sure am grateful that my home comes equipped with a heater
• that in sobriety I have a place in life
• that today I am not afraid to stand in my place, to voice what is my truth
• that more than likely today I will have enough
• for the sustaining power of God

Most of us think of dandelions as weeds. We buy special tools and poisons when they crop up and complain about them as surely as we welcome the spring that brings them. Yet is there anything more lovely than a sea of yellow dandelions by the side of the road in June? Or as remarkable in transformation as the filaments of the mature dandelion blowing on the wind? Sometimes we let someone else define for us what are weeds and what are flowers. We don't have to. Much of the beauty of the world is that we ourselves decide what is beautiful according to our own feelings. How lucky we are that, when we choose to, we can open our eyes and see! ~Today's Gift

01.10.09

To us, humility looked like weakness. But when we came into A.A., we began to be humble. And we found out that humility gave us the power we needed to overcome drinking. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

.

Today I am grateful...

• for my Saturday work at Lambda where I am the bookkeeper. Today I meet with the accountant (she is always fun to be with) and do my usual stuff. Imputing data and keeping an eye on things is satisfying to me.
• that I have four paintings hanging in the back gallery at Nau-haus and I will be there for the opening tonight
• that my right eye is much better this morning. Last night I got cat or something in it and it wasn't happy.
• that the weather will take a decided turn toward winter today
• that everything seems to be in place

We will want the good that is in us all, even in the worst of us, to flower and grow. But first of all we shall want sunlight, nothing much can grow in the dark. Meditation is our step out into the sun. ~As Bill Sees It

01.09.09

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.
~Simon and Garfunkel
.

Today I am grateful...

• that Pam posted about hearing Lulu in her brain--which led me to YouTube to search for some peaceful old favorites. I love this version of The Sounds of Silence.
• that yesterday while stopped at a red light I glanced over and the woman beside me had her dashboard covered in affirmations on cards about 4"x5". One said 'I have the ability to have courage today'. I loved that. Another one said she had worked hard and deserved her stimulus rebate check.
• that I can have an affirmation on my dashboard that says 'I am not driving your car'
• that faith and trust have taken on a self-propelling force
• that I have today more than I could have ever dreamed during my drinking, and I have a pretty vivid imagination. My Higher Power has an imagination that is unlimited by thoughts.

I know that God was working in my life long before I was able to acknowledge and accept spiritual concepts. The glass was put down through this one act of Providence and my journey into sobriety began. My life continues to unfold with divine care and direction. Step One, in which I admitted I was powerless over alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable, takes on more meaning for me - one day at a time - in the life-saving, life-giving Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. ~Daily Reflections

Today

DS is down with a cold today.
.
OK, so yea! A day for me. I need to get to the tanning salon, pick up some canvas at Texas Art Supply and look at the cute boys there. Noon meeting. Maybe lunch with another drunk. An afternoon nap. Some days it pays to be me!
.
(My usual daily post is below.)

01.08.09

Allow your difficulties the opportunity to give you strength. Let the tough times make the good times much more rewarding than they otherwise would have been. Be truly thankful for each opportunity to more fully appreciate life's goodness. And be confident that the goodness is always there. ~Ralph Marston

.

Today I am grateful...

• that I don't think Pam ever gave me the stink eye
• for the way Bunny turns his head towards me when he stands up, so excited, to get a treat
• for Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, which I watched with a friend last night. It is a really feel good movie and I love Frances McDormand and Lee Pace
• for mute buttons to turn off the blahblahblah of talking heads. I am sorry Jet Travolta died, but it is no longer news.
• that today is like this little capsule which carries me through my life. I am always in that little capsule as it moves through the time line of my life.

Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile. ~Mother Theresa

01.07.09

Never make the mistake of taking more credit than is due or less credit than you are worth. ~Fr Leo

.

Today I am grateful...

• that I rarely have headaches anymore. This morning I have one that is persistently hanging on.
• for my simple life. I like it when things are uncomplicated.
• to be no where near as hard headed as I used to be
• that I love the program of Alcoholics Anonymous
• for the freedoms AA and recovery give me
• for "the power to carry that out"

"When you stand outside a room where a group of Alcoholics Anonymous is meeting, the most frequent sound you hear is laughter. Mellow laughter, which can come only from people who have looked destruction and catastrophe in the face, not once but continuously over long years, and now are free and unafraid. The laughter, in short, of people who hold God's hand and feel safe." ~Letter to a Woman Alcoholic (A.A. Pamphlet P-14) - page 13

Winter Rain

01.06.09

They helped us to get down to our right size. By their example they showed us that humility and intellect could be compatible, provided we placed humility first. ~12 & 12

.

Today I am grateful...

• for the 'easy' winters here in Texas
• for the PBS series Story of India which aired the first two parts last night. How I would love to return there.
• that there have always been people to figure things out--scientists and inventors and such
• that I no longer see to many businesses with names ending with 'and more' or 'and such'
• that I got to present a desire chip yesterday
• that today my higher power has the ability to change my thoughts from those of a crazy alcoholic to those of a sober man

There is a subtle distinction between the "dry" alcoholic and the "sober" alcoholic. The sober alcoholic chooses not to drink because he has accepted his alcoholism. The"dry" alcoholic is "not drinking" but is invariably angry and resentful -- and he is not expressing these feelings. His abstinence is not exciting because he is not interested in it -- he is bored.

The "dry" alcoholic is also boring to be around. Why? Because he is bored. His boredom makes him boring. He really wants to drink. He has stopped drinking for reasons that do not include the acceptance of the disease; he is still a victim of the disease.

Sobriety, by contrast, is an adventure into self. It greets the new day with enthusiasm and energy. Sobriety is the spiritual discovery of God in our lives. ~Fr Leo

01.05.09

We have these two forces; this insatiable thirst, compulsion, hunger, yearning, call it what you will. We don't know what we're looking for but we're searching. And the other force; the escape. We're running, not knowing what from. - Eddie E.

.

Today I am grateful...

• that i don't have to go back to school this morning
• for the really fun dream I had this morning where I was in NYC and recorded a song with Madonna
• that Alcoholics Anonymous was there for me when I reached the jumping-off place
• for laughter that lets me forget everything for the moment
• that 'all this' is God, everything and nothing

As you start the first full work week of the New Year you should do no 'work' at all.

The point of your activities throughout the day is not to make a living, but to make a life; not to 'work' but to create joy. If you are doing what you are doing merely to 'pay the bills,' you will have missed the major reason for All Of Life.

The purpose of life is to know and express Who You Are. If you do other than that during the days and times of your life, you will have not used those days and times in a way that profits your soul. It is soul profit we are after here, not body profit. ~Conversations with God Daily Meditation

01.04.09

I no longer have that trampled look of someone forced to remember every mistake he or she has made. I no longer hide under that blanket of regrets. ~Hazelden Thought for the Day Jan. 3

.

Today I am grateful...

• that every day this year ends in an odd number: 9
• that if you ever think I am not gay enough, read this post from the past
• that about.com lists us recovery bloggers
• to know what I have today, mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually is a direct result of being sober and having a program of recovery. No one's words can sway me otherwise, although some try.
• that time is passing and I am sober. Time has taken on such a different sense since I got sober--I can actually see it passing (or am I moving through it?), unlike when I was drunk every night and simply wanting my awareness of time to cease.

Life is full of questions. Many people tell us they have the answers. We have to be careful of who and what we believe. Other people's ideas may not fit us. The program doesn't tell us much about what to believe. It teaches us how to believe. How well the program works for us depends on what we believe and how well we live it. When we face all the facts, we can really believe. We believe we are powerless over our addiction. We believe we must and can change some things in our lives. We believe we can trust a Higher Power to care for us. When we choose to believe, we want to choose the best beliefs we can. And once we believe, we must not forget. ~Keep It Simple

I Have Got to Get One of These!

It's called the SLANKET!!!

01.03.09

God speaks to us through other people. Our relationship with our Higher Power influences our relationships with all the people in our lives. Today we can nurture our relationships with time, tolerance, and honesty. In turn, we will be nourished. ~Touchstones

.

Today I am grateful...

• that we got to meet Jenn from J-Online at the noon meeting yesterday! We had a full house and the topic was sponsorship. It was nice to sit there after meeting in person, as we felt we already knew her from her blog, and well, you know how it is with alcoholics, we know each others stories with out having been told. There wasn't time for lunch, but we got a rain check. I did not get a butt pinch. Also, Jenn is a cutie!
• that Lou is visiting this Spring!
• that "I've also learned I am not powerless over some things. I am not powerless over my attitudes. I am not powerless over negativity. I am not powerless over assuming responsibility for my own recovery." ~from today's Daily Reflections

Change surrounds us. It lies within us, too. The trees in the yard have changed. They've grown taller. Their leaves die and scatter on the ground in the fall. We don't resemble our baby pictures much anymore, either. Like trees, we've grown up. As babies, we couldn't walk. But we learned to run, ride bikes, and go out alone to movies and parties. Some changes we don't notice while they're going on. The snow melts; the birds fly south; our hair grows a little every day. Other changes startle us. A best friend moves away. Perhaps a favorite grandparent dies. These changes we wish hadn't happened, and we have to remember that change is as natural as breathing. We can't keep it from happening, but we can trust that change never means to harm us. ~Today's Gift

Dave has an AHA! moment.

01.02.09

Happiness is all around us, but it often comes in small grains. When we gather it grain by grain, we soon have a basketful. ~Today's Gift

.

Today I am grateful...

• that I was finally able to sleep after crawling into bed and immediately having an itch attack. But only after an antihistamine and Lidocaine and an hour sitting with it.
• that I have a little work today. I need to be back on some schedule after almost two weeks of freeloading.
• that we get to meet J-Online today!
• that the circle of life is inevitable. We all have to deal with it living in this body. But there is something about letting a pet go that breaks a special place in a humans heart. Trailboss is nearing that place with her Annie.
• for the practice of letting go. Turn it over and let it go. It's simple sometimes, and at times it is a struggle. But always easier when I can just not take it back.

Delusion leads us to other excesses. Some alcoholics also binge on smoking, food, sex, and power and recognition. In this frantic seeking, our basic delusion is that substances and things can satisfy what is really a spiritual need. Instead of realizing that there is a law of diminishing returns in the enjoyment of such things, we cling to the delusion that "just one more" will bring the relief and satisfaction we want. Delusions brought disillusionment, and only the truth set us free from alcohol. Other excesses might not hurt us to the extent alcohol did, but the excesses of our drinking years carry lessons that are equally applicable to other human problems. ~Walk in Dry Places

Who is that in bed with me?

It's JJ from Boston! We were in New York City in my and Dave's hotel room.
The maid had the impression we had brought a hooker back to the room. LOL!
JJ, you can click the picture and it takes you to my NYC album.

01.01.09

Ah the dawn of a New Year! May we find inner peace, gentle spirit, God's grace,forgiveness, dreams and prayers, Recovery. ~Shelley

.

Today I am grateful...

• for the news that my nephew will enter a rehab facility on Monday
• that yesterday, all day, seemed as if the whole world was in a good mood
• for day I sat against the wall at the noon meeting and it occurred to me that the whole room had gotten sober and stayed that way, and that I could, too
• that as 2008 came to a close there was much for which to be grateful. It was a truly good year!
• that I have today, in all its glory. Tomorrow is not a concern and the past is long gone. And I just have to stay sober for today.

On this day of your life God wants you to know...that every day is a New Beginning.
.
A new cycle begins this day, yet a new cycle begins every day. Indeed, every moment. So if you recognize anything on this day, recognize what it symbolizes: The miracle of the endlessly continuing Cycle of Life.
.
What a grand day! What a time for celebration! We begin again today! We turn the page! And so, let go of all that you do not wish to carry with you any further. Any fear, any sadness, any anger, any resentment, any disappointment, any lament...let it all go. And now, using the specialness of this day as a springboard, let's get on with Life! ~Neale Donald Walsh