04.30.09

A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action not reaction. ~Rita Mae Brown

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Today I am grateful...

• that a years worth of work is culminating today with the move in of a client
• that I will eventually get this damned tooth taken care of. Yesterday during lunch it broke off at the gum line. I want it over, but it isn't happening today.
• that I will call on the tools of the program today as I feel I am getting agitated. One thing at a time. One healthy thought at a time.
• that today is also the day for me to do payroll at TLC, so I am getting an early start on the day
• that my Higher Power has my back today (and every day)

At times, we turned to chemicals because we couldn't love ourselves. Our addiction gave a promise of relief, but it gave us self-hate. We wanted to love, but couldn't. What is it we really love ? Where should we put out energy ? In raising children ? In creating art ? In helping addicts who still suffer ? There's much in this world that needs our love. We can be many things in our lives. Let's be people we believe in. Let's be people we can love. ~Keep It Simple

The rain is gone, for now

04.29.09

When I did open my eyes, it was because I had to. And the man who showed me the truth was a fellow sufferer and a layman. Through him,I saw at last, and I stepped from the abyss to solid ground, knowing at once that my feet were on the broad highway if I chose to walk. ~Bill W

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Today I am grateful...

• that I did get to see the dentist. But she said she was not able to save the tooth, so I have to arrange for the extraction. I have a lot invested in that tooth--root canal, crown, must have over $2500 tied up there. And OSHA won't let me keep it!
• that my mind feels alert today
• that I have a good feeling about how today will turn out
• for iced coffee with heavy whipping cream (0 carbs) and Sweet'n Low
• that today I get it a lot more than I got it in my drunk life

I'll be pleased today that I can remember the past without living in it. I am free from the old hurts and problems that would keep me from directing all of my energies and attention to what I am doing here and now. ~Walk in Dry Places

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I’m as pure as the driven slush. ~Tallulah Bankhead

04.28.09

Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues. ~Hugh Prather

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Today I am grateful...

• that the car passed the state inspection despite being told the hairline crack in the rear light cover would prevent it (I just took it elsewhere)
• for the twenty or so folks that showed up for the Beginners meeting last night despite all the flooding going on in Houston (led by our Dave)
• that Bunny knows I mean business when it's raining and he won't go out and I put his leash on. He gets right down to it. When he's through I let him off the leash and he is a blur getting back inside.
• that since the dentist office was closed yesterday I will try again today

The world needs listeners ... If everyone were the story-teller, it would be a noisy place, and no one would ever get to hear the stories. Maybe you are a storyteller; maybe you are a listener. Maybe both. Maybe it will be your path to achieve recognition and fame; maybe yours is an anonymous path of service. If you've done all you can-- whether it's to pursue your dreams, work on that relationship, help someone else, or take care of yourself-- then you've done your part. ~More Language of Letting Go

04.27.09

We are inside a box of space and time, but we know there must be something outside of that box, limitless space, eternity of time, and God. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

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Today I am grateful...

• that so far Monday is just a soft lump of clay waiting to be molded
• for more answers and solutions than questions and problems
• that even though I would prefer not so call my dentist today, I have a molar that needs immediate attention--so I will make the call
• for the part this blog plays in my recovery
• for all my blog buddies from all over

I noticed my hopelessness was because I had lost my freedom of choice. ~AA member

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One part of us will always want to do things the old, sick way. This is natural. But we're getting stronger every day. Our spirit wants to learn new ways so we can be honest and loving. Sometimes we don't know how. But we still have a choice. We can ask for help. ~Keep It Simple

In Every Dream Home a Heartache

18" x 42", acrylic on canvas

04.26.09

We have been seduced and trapped by a ritual of forgetting ourselves. ~Touchstones

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Today I am grateful...

• for a light, lively and occasionally moving birthday night at TLC
• and thank you for being a friend
• that for a while now, when I wake up, all the furniture is where it was the night before
• to keep enough free space in my mind so that anything new has a chance to settle in
• that there is never room for Jello (I dislike it immensely) but there is always room for growth

We may have let ourselves believe that we're supposed to display an attitude that expresses our opinions of others. If a person is crude and boorish, we should be cool and defensive for our self-protection. If a person is warm and friendly, we should respond in warm and friendly ways. If we have believed these things, then we're actually letting others control our attitudes and behavior. We are letting personalities interfere with the high principles we are learning in AA. We are not living at the best possible level. ~Walk in Dry Places

04.25.09

I remember that first drink and feeling so surprised and amazed and delighted. And I think of how many alcoholics are dying right now trying somehow, some way to re-create that moment. ~Charlie C.

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Today I am grateful...

• for the 20th AA birthday celebration of a friend last night where there was a total of 502 years in attendance
• that I am learning to accept compliments
• that today my life has balance
• that I have Thank You written on my heart

A whole lifetime geared to self-centeredness cannot be set in reverse all at once. Rebellion dogs our every step at first. ~Step 7, 12 & 12

Real business card I found yesterday (I removed the names)

04.24.09

To be egotistical and self-centered is to be bored. If we are always the center of our awareness, we will soon tire of ourselves, since none of us is all that fascinating. In order to escape boredom, we need to turn our attention outward and focus on something besides self. ~Food for Thought

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Today I am grateful...

• that I seem to be surrounded lately by useless chatter, so I have just kept my mouth shut. Some confuse that with a mood, but I am just protecting my serenity.
• for yesterday's meeting topic: change. That and the grace of a Higher Power are the only constants.
• for the way my life just keeps purring along
• that I don't understand everything, what good would that do?
• that I have an inquiring mind, and the stuff I am curious about is certainly different than it used to be

The essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails. ~Bill W.

Friday Flash 55

I woke often, I always did in that picture
So used to the drug of sleep experienced alone
Poised close to the deep mystery Morpheus
Takes us -- to a place where we start healing
Breath on my neck, your arm around my waist
traveling in and out of consciousness
Behind a soft, barely visible smile
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If you want to join in Friday Flash 55, just tell the
g-man you have one on your blog.

Saturn, through Titan's haze

04.23.09

The door to the human heart can only be opened from the INSIDE. ~Walk in Dry Places

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Today I am grateful...

• that daily action takes us away from a drink
• for evolution in recovery
• that as humans we carry the imprint of Divinity
• for restraint in its many forms
• that today I will go forth, knowing I have what it takes, be comfortable with that and relax

Good listeners know how to let go of their fears. To listen completely, we step outside ourselves, and we're totally there for someone else. Sometimes we listen for only a few moments. Sometimes we don't even agree with the people we're listening to. But we let them know that they count. What a gift we give when we listen in a complete way! ~Keep It Simple

Mimas, a moon of Saturn

04.22.09

Spiritual growth results from absorbing and digesting truth and putting it to practice in daily life. ~White Eagle

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Today I am grateful...

• to be surrounded by those who try to improve their experience by striving to be the best they can be. That probably includes you, and if so, congratulations.
• that my life is full of reflections, in others and in mirrors (that means I am not a vampire)
• this, too, shall pass. It always does. Whatever it is.
• that today the world is colored rather than gray
• that I am not the jealous type
• that what I see in you today will reflect how I see myself

It's mainly a quiet battle. It's fought daily. We fight and win by acting in a spiritual way. We fight and win every time we help a friend, go to meetings, or read about how to improve our lives. We move slowly but always forward. Rushing will only tire us out. Our battle will go on for life. We are quiet fighters, but we're strong, for we do not fight alone. And we know what waits for us if we lose. ~Keep It Simple

04.21.09

Spiritual growth is the key to the new developments in all parts of our lives. We have become more closely connected to the source of creativity, so we are more alive. Others respond positively to our new sincerity and enthusiasm. That we may continue to grow and learn gives us quiet satisfaction. ~Food for Thought

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Today I am grateful...

• that I went off my routine last night and attended the 8PM Beginners meeting
• for the huge laughs when a woman shared that when her neighbors took their trash out it was so quiet, but hers was way too loud from the clinking of bottles
• that the reward is closer with every step
• that recovery was in my life plan
• that I am grateful, as often as I know how, for this life I have been given and that daily I strive to maintain it to the best of my ability

Fear is often the force that prevents me from acquiring and cultivating the power of faith. Fear blocks my appreciation of beauty, tolerance, forgiveness, service, and serenity. ~Daily Reflections

420

When I eliminate thoughts of self-pity, dishonesty and self-centeredness as soon as they enter my mind, I find peace with God, my neighbor and myself. ~Daily Reflections

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Today I am grateful...

• that 420 signifying pot smoking doesn't have any place in my life. For years I was on marijuana maintenance.
• for a peaceful and balanced weekend
• that we watched Ron White's special, Behavioral Problems. Link NSFW (not safe for work). Absolutely hysterical! Plus we found out he grew up here in Houston.
• that R told me the planetary alignment for the next two days would make things emotional and crazy, so I'm gonna be looking out for that. Can't hurt to be prepared, right?
• that you'll have a good day--unless you don't want to

Our disease is sometimes call the disease of “always wanting more.” We push ourselves to get as much pleasure as we could. If one was good, two was better. We didn’t see that what we were lacking was faith. At times in recovery, we still crave “more.” We must pay attention to these cravings. When we have a craving, maybe we’re scared, and our Higher Power is trying to tell us that, if we have faith, we’ll be taken care of. Perhaps our Higher Power just has a message of love for us. All we need to do is listen. It may be that this is only “more” we really need. ~Keep It Simple

04.19.09

We no longer have to worry about button-pushers if we accept them as they are, realizing that we don't need their approval and can't really be hurt by anything they do or say. Our serenity in the face of such problems may actually serve to attract people to AA. ~Walk in Dry Places

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Today I am grateful...

• to have had dinner with a friend who has 'found his way back'
• to have heard Jay F tell his story, filled with lots of humor--starting with 'womb memories, it was so warm there...'
• that I found another recording by Susan Boyle HERE. I have listened to it over and over.
• that I am thinking about doing some housework today--keyword here is 'thinking'
• that I am committed to my recovery today

Fear: "This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve. But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble." ~Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition p. 67-68

50s Dad and Mom aka Steve and Bunny

I love Bunny!

Mom, my first Bunny, inside the old Zenith television.
I have this framed and on the refrigerator door (attached with magnetic sheeting).

04.18.09

Why is gratitude so very powerful? Because it keeps you connected to all the good things in your life. ~Ralph Marston

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Today I am grateful...

• for special remembrances of my mom, today she would have been 83
• for how she would pat our legs for the longest time--it was such a loving gesture--like she just couldn't show us enough love and wanted it to last
• for the little love notes she would tuck into my lunch (as an adult)
• for one of my favorite, but heart breaking memories, when ALS had taken away her voice and was depleting her muscle strength and I was about to leave to return to Texas. She took the pen and wrote in letters so childlike, I love you. Her beautiful penmanship swallowed up by the disease.
• how I once called her my first teacher. She told me how much she loved that.

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall; A mother's secret hope outlives them all. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Friday 55

At the climax of passion your vision was different than mine.
You said my face looked like a master’s drawing. No one ever said anything like that to me.
I saw us on a sailboat adrift in a clear, blue, sun dappled sea. The piquant smell of salt in the air and on our skin.
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Friday 55 is a story told in exactly 55 words. More details are at the g-man's place.

Some Things Scare Me

04.17.09

In my recovery I am beginning to understand that so much "power" in the world is really fear. The power that seeks to attack first in order to feel secure is really fear. The power that always has to have an answer is really fear. The power that arrogantly refuses to listen is really fear. So much power is "fear" dressed in illusion!

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Today I am grateful...

• for kindred spirits
• that this day will make available to me what I need
• that today I am one day further from my last drink
• that I asked to have the awareness today that I walk in companionship with my Higher Power
• for things done for me that I cannot do for myself
  

Spiritual power has the ability to be vulnerable. It can live with confusion. It can stand alone. It allows others to walk away to pursue their happiness. Spiritual power can exist in suffering and loneliness, and it does not expect perfection.
My recovery is teaching me to live and let others live, too. My freedom must respect the freedom of others; respect is a two-way street! ~Fr Leo

04.16.09

In good behavior and bad, we're always trying to meet our needs. As compulsive people, we have lots of experience with destructive ways of meeting them. Driven by nameless hungers, we tried desperately to combat boredom, to raise our low self-esteem, to find companionship. What we actually did was place more distance between ourselves and the true satisfying of our needs. ~Walk in Dry Places

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Today I am grateful...

• that a friend I have been worried about for a long time contacted me and said he had just gotten out of a four week rehab and would see me soon
• for those that make it back after a relapse and those that will never find their way home
• that yesterday I was where I was supposed to be to get the full benefit of recovery
• for lunch outside and the votive candle the host found after the electricity went out and I was about to wet my pants
• that self-discovery is a times painful and others joyful. I have to be open to both.

What do we rally need? All of us need self-honesty, self-worth, friendship, and purpose.... all available in the AA program as part of sober living. Finding these, we'll gain insight that will enable to sort out and understand other needs,..... and perhaps find those that correspond to our heart's desire and bring real happiness. It's something we can turn over... ~Walk in Dry Places

04.15.09

Though I live and work with people who may be frightened and cynical, I'll hold to the idea that a Higher Power is working ceaselessly to improve the human condition in general. There is no reason why the miraculous healing power that relieved my alcoholism should not apply to other problems in my life. ~Walk in Dry Places

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Today I am grateful...

• that I got the two IRS checks in the mail yesterday
• that so far I don't think I have been affected by the current bed bug infestation the US is experiencing. The CDC is having a two day conference on the problem. I have only seen them once. That was in a motel in Hernandez, MS when a friend and I were caught in a blizzard and had no where else to stay. Creepy.
• that I can be me without any desire to be you. Not that there is anything wrong with you. I am just enjoying being me.
• that without a whole lot of effort today can be totally enjoyable
• for the grounding qualities of prayer

Our chief responsibility to the newcomer is an adequate presentation of the program. If he does nothing or argues, we do nothing but maintain our own sobriety. If he starts to move ahead, even a little, with an open mind, we then break our necks to help in every way we can. ~Bill W.

04.14.09

More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. ~Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 63

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Today I am grateful...

• that I usually just floating along in a cloud of wonder (thanks, Syd)
• that I added three new galleries to my Website
• that I don't have to involve myself in random emotions just because I can
• that we, as alcoholics in recovery, still affect those around us. Today that affect can be healing instead of the destructive nature of our using.
• that today I might say yes to a situation that in days past I would have refused
• that today I can say no in situations where I am confronted with intimidation
• that today I choose life and a way of living that is constructive and hopeful

As an alcoholic I existed in life but I didn't live: I missed vacations, people, friendships, feelings, nature, sunsets and God. Like so many addicts, I was numbered amongst the "walking dead". Today I continue to make a spiritual choice that avoids alcohol and I am able to feel again. Today I am alive. ~Fr Leo

04.13.09

A smile directed at a stranger, a compliment given to a friend, an attitude of laughter, or a thoughtful gesture can send ripples that spread among your loved ones and associates, out into your community, and finally throughout the world. You have the power to touch the lives of everyone you come into contact with and everyone those people come into contact with. The momentum of your influence will grow as your ripples moves onward and outward. One of those ripples could become a tidal wave of love and kindness. ~Daily Om

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Today I am grateful...

• to start another week, sober and rested
• that I found a quote using 'maudlin'--see below
• that a friend directed me back to center yesterday by letting me know that 'thank you' is a sufficient answer to a compliment. I have a tendency to counter with a self-effacing comment.
• for principle over expediency
• that today I sill strive to take the advice 'I meditate on the "comfortableness" of freedom.'

Self-pity is one of the most unhappy and consuming defects that we know. It is a bar to all spiritual progress and can cut off all effective communication with our fellows because of its inordinate demands for attention and sympathy. It is a maudlin form of martyrdom, which we can ill afford. ~As Bill Sees It

04.12.09

Nothing is better than experiencing joy except sharing it with someone else. ~Deanna Smythe

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Today I am grateful...

• for the unlimited freedom of the weekend
• that if my thoughts are in the right place anything is possible
• that I have not been afraid to change my world
• that faith and trust are two of the biggest comforts I have found
• for the sound of exhaling

Blessed are all birds and animals, the wildest beasts, and, yes, all serpents, too, for they live in nature, in a state of natural grace. They live beyond the rules of evil and good. Their instincts are obedient only to the laws of survival, growth, and health. And as their lives unfurl in obedience to these laws, they suffer no shame, regret, or sin. Nor do they curse their failures, or themselves.

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We can learn much from them. They harbor no evil toward one another, and they trust their own inner sense of how to live, and that their Higher Power makes sure everything which befalls them is for the best. Yes, they are blessed, and so are we, the highest animal. ~Today's Gift

04.11.09

We are not saints, and our spiritual progress is interrupted the moment we begin to act more saintly than we really are. ~Walk in Dry Places

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Today I am grateful...

• for another sober Saturday. In the old drunk days the only time I ventured outside my front door was to walk the dog or run for cigarettes or booze. I was astonished when I got sober when I was out and about mid-day and the world was full of people everywhere.
• that my old drinking cave has been replaced with a parking lot
• that if I really want serenity, then I cannot hold onto anything negative
• that I went to Emancipation Park yesterday to see the Conversations About Iraq presentation. It was to encourage a dialog about war. There was a car from a suicide bombing in Baghdad. It was a powerful experience.
• for the incredible Spring weather we have had

The person who sends out positive thoughts activates the world around him positively and draws back to himself positive results. ~Norman Vincent Peale

Thoughts have power. Thoughts are energy. You can make your world or break it by your thinking. ~Susan Taylor

Those who are awake live in a state of constant amazement. ~Buddha

Bumper Sticker

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I just got a bunch of these bumper stickers made. If you want one just send me your mailing address in an email (found in my profile).

Making Easter Eggs

04.10.09

Act with genuine love and authentic purpose. And no obstacle will have the power to stop you. ~Ralph Marston
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Today I am grateful...

• for this three day weekend
• for the excellent carne asada from 1308 last night (with queso!)
• for the IM with Shannon this morning, and the FB message from an old co-hart who is in a relationship with a drinker and can't, but wants to be, sober
• that the following quote I SO GET!!!

When I was a child, I acquired some of the traits that had a lot to do with my insatiable craving for alcohol. I was brought up in a little town in Vermont, under the shadow of Mount Aeolus. An early recollection is that of looking up at this vast and mysterious mountain, wondering what it meant and whether I could ever climb that high. But I was presently distracted by my aunt who, as a fourth-birthday present, made me a plate of fudge. For the next thirty-five years I pursued the fudge of life and quite forgot about the mountain. ~As Bill Sees It

04.09.09

It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little. Do what you can. ~Sydney Smith

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Today I am grateful...

• that I finally got my website live
• to have and know gratitude in my life
• that I ran into Boston yesterday as she was walking Jack
• that I will be led where I need to go today
• that my life is full of generous people
• that I am still watching my priorities change

We are just as powerless over our successes as we are over the worst of our behaviors. We can only be faithful to our duties and ourselves. The successes, which flow from our work come and go. Since we can't nail them down, they may make us feel insecure. Many a man has destroyed his moment of success because he couldn't stand the powerless feeling. We must return to our program and allow success to rise and fall, as it will. ~Touchstones

Disturbia

38" x 65", acrylic on canvas

Room Sized Art

04.08.09

I have come to realize that the name of the game is not so much to stop drinking as to stay sober. Alcoholics can stop drinking in many places and many ways -- but Alcoholics Anonymous offers us a way to stay sober. ~p. 559, Alcoholics Anonymous
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Today I am grateful...

• that for a day off I sure had to get started early by meeting the closet installers at 8 AM, they showed up at 8:45 AM and we did the closet walk through before they start installing the fixtures
• that my car is small enough to sneak into tight parking places--I got the dreaded tiny one by the concrete wall where no one wants to park
• that I dropped off the bamboo shaped metal rods that had been clanking around in my back seat all weekend
• that KAS is taking time out of her busy schedule to check my web site hosting information
• that I could speak with MJ this morning about the Lambda phone bill and how screwed up electronic billing is--without either of us losing our tempers. We used to butt heads back when.
• that I may be late posting today but I am honoring my commitment

The program of Alcoholics Anonymous has to be enough. ~Sharon F during her lead yesterday about how a friend of hers thinks there are too many platitudes, can't deal with meetings, too much focus on the problems, etc.

Go tell Bill Happy Birthday HERE!

04.07.09

All is well. In fact, all is more than well -- all is glorious. The only reason you're able to even notice the discord is because there is so very much harmony in life. Peace is so all-pervasive and gracefully abundant that it doesn't mind allowing a little conflict to happen. ~Ralph Marston

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Today I am grateful...

• that my friend Bill reached two whole years of sobriety this morning!
• for the major progress I made yesterday to the large canvas on my easel
• that when I can get someone to tell me what I did wrong in getting my web site host to point to my website generated by Squarespace my web site will be live.
• for a few days off except for meeting with a client briefly yesterday and meeting the closet installers on a job site tomorrow morning
• that it's a great day to be sober

At the beginning we sacrificed alcohol. We had to, or it would have killed us. But we couldn't get rid of alcohol unless we made other sacrifices. We had to toss the self-justification, self-pity, and anger right out the window. We had to quit the crazy contest for personal prestige and big bank balances. We had to take personal responsibility for our sorry state and quit blaming others for it.

Were these sacrifices? Yes, they were. To gain enough humility and self-respect to stay alive at all, we had to give up what had really been our dearest possessions--our ambitions and our illegitimate pride. ~A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 287

04.06.09

When anything pushes against you, choose to let it push you up. Every occasion is your occasion to brightly shine. ~Ralph Marston

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Today I am grateful...

• that it is chilly again this morning. One day the need is for air conditioning, the next it's using the heat. This has been the oddest spring.
• for the excellent first step meeting yesterday morning
• that first step meetings help my 'rememberer' remember
• to trust the protector

We gain everything by sharing our true feelings and letting others know we are vulnerable human beings. There is never any need to defend or explain anything we've tried to say in a meeting. The real message always comes through in our attitude, and it will reach those for whom it's intended. ~Walk in Dry Places

04 + 05 = 09

As we let go and gave in to the program, we found more happiness. We found joy in ourselves, our friends, our Higher Power, and those around us. Our self-pity changed to self-respect. We were truly out in the sunshine. We were no longer lost in misery. We know how to walk through misery to find joy. ~Keep It Simple

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Today I am grateful...

• that my life works today
• that the program of AA is always there, to keep me grounded
• that pain can be lessened by trust and faith
• that I do not have to gossip today to feel better about myself
• that life is less disruptive with a clean house
• for easing the battle with defects

Don't work for my happiness--show me yours--show me that it is possible--show me your achievement--and the knowledge will give me courage for mine. ~Ayn Rand

04.04.09

Beauty is not caused. It is. ~Emily Dickinson

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Today I am grateful...

• for further proof HP does for me what I cannot do for myself
• for the beautiful texture of my life--I wanted to compare it to silk velvet--strong and comfortable and easy to wear
• for the incredible blessing of letting go--when I can manage to completely turn something over and not take it back
• for a slow start to a new Saturday
• that tonight is gallery night!

So many people think that beauty is what you do to yourself; what you wear, makeup, clothes, hairstyles or expensive jewelry. Again it is so easy to get caught up in "things". Reality is not about what we wear but who we are.

The beauty that God has created comes from within. The twinkle in the eyes that says "hello". The hug that says "I love you". The gentle embrace and smile that says "I forgive you". The tear that cries "I understand". ~Fr Leo

04.03.09

We are here on earth to serve others. That is the beginning and the end of our real worth. ~24 Hours a Day

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Today I am grateful...

• for the awareness recovery has brought
• that I usually know when to keep my mouth shut
• that everything will fall into place today, just like there was a power greater than I out there
• for more progress on the large canvas last night. I had over one hundred square spaces to fill in, I think I am down to thirty-seven now.
• that I can rest fulfilled, knowing I have what I need and have been where I needed to be

Now I see how drugs kept me blind from so much. Alcohol kept me a prisoner of mediocrity and much of the wonder of life passed me by. As a drinking alcoholic I existed in life, rather than lived life. I was a bored spectator rather than a participant. I reacted to things, rather than initiated events. Alcoholism equals dullness. Recovery symbolized energy. ~Fr Leo

Prayer Request

Y'all may remember my friend Jean, formerly blogging as Luscious LaJuana. Here she is with one of the loves of her life and constant companion, Jackie Chan. Jackie is in the ICU and has been for a while. He has a genetic vascular defect called a portosystemic shunt which is related to liver function. She has requested prayers for little Jackie Chan's health and for her serenity.

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We would love to comply, Jean. We love you! And your little dog, too.

Not reperesentational of any mood today...

04.02.09

Be careful of those who imagine themselves to be on the High Road while everyone else is walking the Low. If they really are on the High Road, they will offer to take everyone else with them, not simply tell others that they are going the wrong way. ~I Believe God Wants You to Know

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Today I am grateful...

• for a dark, stormy morning
• the sound of coffee brewing and the soft hum of the clothes dryer
• for 1962 days without cocktails and 1373 days without a cigarette
• for the grace that lets me experience the blessings of today
• that the truth is revealed to me in small doses so I can comprehend it
• that the veil of illusion is lifted a little each day through prayer and meditation
• that I do not have to agree with everyone, in fact I can't

EIGHT SYMPTOMS OF UNTREATED ALCOHOLISM
(SOBER BUT NOT IN RECOVERY)
1. Having trouble with personal relationships.
2. Couldn't control our emotions.
3. Prey to misery and depression.
4. Couldn't make a living.
5. Had feeling of uselessness.
6. Filled with all sorts of fears.
7. Were very unhappy.
8. Couldn't seem to be of real help to others.
~Page 52, Alcoholics Anonymous

04.01.09

Prudence is a workable middle ground, a channel of clear sailing between the obstacles of fear on the one side and of recklessness on the other. Prudence in practice creates a definite climate, the only climate in which harmony, effectiveness, and consistent spiritual progress can be achieved. ~Twelve Concepts

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Today I am grateful...

• that the nagging back ache I have had for the last four days seems to be subsiding. Maybe it was the lifting I did yesterday at a client's house.
• for the using dream in which I had a black out, admitted to others over breakfast and was resigned to picking up a desire chip--I still have the feeling of being humbled
• that I no longer think, "What an order!"
• for the incredible healing available in recovery
• that God will place another alcoholic in my path today, and it only takes one to keep me sober

As an alcoholic I wasted so much time. For most of my life I was "out to lunch"! Today I spend time enjoying my life - and I spend quality time alone with "self". I enjoy my little conversations with self - the thoughts I have and need to ponder upon. I need time to rest in the peace of my life. Time is a precious gift from God that should not be wasted. ~Fr Leo