02.28.09

All of my life I been like a doubled up fist... poundin', smashin', drivin' -- now I'm going to loosen these doubled up hands and touch things easy with them. ~Tennessee Williams

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Today I am grateful...

• for love and support from family and friends
• for my new debit card with Bunny's photo on it!
• that I have my usual Saturday work today, an AA birthday dinner followed by the birthday night celebration at Lambda Center
• that when I change my thoughts, I change my reality

We do not need to punish ourselves for having denied reality; we need only love ourselves into safety and strength so that each day we are better equipped to face and deal with the truth. We will face and deal with reality - on our own time schedule, when we are ready, and in our Higher Power's timing. We do not have to accept chastisement from anyone, including ourselves, for this schedule.We will know what we need to know, when it's time to know it. ~The Language of Letting Go

I Heart Grace Jones

02.27.09

Life is movement, and to be alive is to change. There is no standing still. Either we are making progress in the control of our disease, or we are getting worse. ~Food for Thought

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Today I am grateful...

• for quieted disturbances
• for a successful trip to Fulshur, TX yesterday and that I navigated around the four dozen glazed donuts several times
• for spirited debates
• that I have a connection today
• for the action that keeps me plugged into that connection today

When we harbored grudges and planned revenge for defeats, we were really beating ourselves with the club of anger we had intended to use on others. We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our very first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it. ~As Bill Sees It

02.26.09

The newcomer feels he has struck something better than gold. He may not see at once that he has barely scratched the limitless lode which will pay dividends only if he mines it for the rest of his life and insists on giving away the entire product. ~As Bill Sees It

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Today I am grateful...

• that today KAS celebrates her one year of sobriety
• for the miracle of recovery
• that one of the biggest realities for me when I first got sober was that I never had to do IT alone again, ever
• that my Higher Power has shared a lot of secret stuff with me over these 5+ years
• that I can be trusted with secret stuff
• that I am learning to enjoy coffee with no cream or sugar
• for the marked decrease in my old feelings of being a fraud

The only fix that will ever work has to be rooted in sobriety and right living. When we think and live properly, free from alcohol, we find a fix that really works. We find continuous satisfaction instead of soaring excitement, sound relationships with other people instead of ego-gratifying encounters, and purpose instead of drifting. ~Walk in Dry Places

02.25.09

Through experience and obedience, growth started, followed by gratitude. Yes, then came peace of mind -- living in and sharing sobriety. ~Daily Reflections

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Today I am grateful...

• that on Attitude of Gratitude non-conference approved material is allowed
• to love it when Pam gets in a snit about the behaviors of some newcomers
• that although I got ravenous yesterday afternoon, and it made me want to be irritable, I kept quiet and got through it
• that God could and would, and has, and will
• for the joys this day is certain to bring

OUCH!

We are growing up when we come to see that gossip feeds on our own insecurity and self-deception. When we are unwilling to part company with gossip, we devise subtle ways to keep it in our lives. We can gossip by steering the conversation to a topic that is likely to bring revealing comments. We also gossip by reveling in lurid accounts of others' sins and failings. We should even ask ourselves if we are gossiping when we "discuss" another member who is not living up to our ideas of true Twelve Step standards. This is often prefaced by the remark, "I don't want to take Joe's inventory, but….." We cannot live freely and happily if we practice gossip in any form. The practice may be hidden, but it leaves us with guilt, fear, and shame. We cannot gossip and be completely trustworthy and reliable. ~Walk in Dry Places

Pay It Forward

Pay It Forward

Syd posted HERE about his Pay It Forward gift packet from Jenn from J-Online. He offered the same to the first four to comment on the post. So I'ma gonna do the same thing. If'n you'd like a little art project from me, just tell me so in the comment section. Syd then offered to send to others besides the first four, but I am gonna stick to the original thought. I gotta keep producing stuff for my gallery show in September.

Above is what was in my gift box: some delicious tea, napkins, a magnetic note pad, some homemade jam, a great aromatic candle and a star fish. Thanks, Syd. A bit of South Carolina in Texas.

Last One

02.24.09

Sometimes storms aren't about us.

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Today I am grateful...

• that today starts the strict period of my new eating plan
• that today I have my limits and I can respect them
• for the truly touching moment last night when Ongina won the challenge on RuPaul's Drag Race
• that my life has more texture to it today than a fabric showroom
• that today I have more than I need and I will not take advantage of that fact

Sometimes, friends or loved ones will attack us for no apparent reason. They'll fuss, fume, and snap at us. When we ask them why, they'll say, "Oh I'm sorry. I had a bad day at work." But we still feel hurt and upset.

Hold people accountable for their behavior. Don't let people treat you badly. But don't take the storms in their lives personally. These storms may have nothing to do with you.

Seek shelter if necessary. Get away from curt friends until they have time to calm down; then approach when it's safe. If the storm isn't about you, there's nothing you need to do. Would you try to stop the ocean waves by standing in the surf with your arms outstretched? ~All quotes today from Hazelden's Today's Thoughts

One More

02.23.09

The more responsibility you're willing to take, the more control you'll have over the world around you. Be decisive and proactive, and events will more often unfold in your favor. Make use of each moment to give something meaningful to life. Fill your thoughts and actions with substance, and you'll fill your life with great treasures. ~Ralph Marston

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Today I am grateful...

• that I finished the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World series last night (see post below)
• that I am not slowing down the creative process even though I am quickly running out of room to store art
• for Grace Jones' release of late last year, Hurricane. I listened to it all weekend and it's brilliant!
• for how incredible it feels to live with some awareness

As human beings, there are many times when we are weak and dependent. If we say we can go it alone, we are whistling in the dark and deluding ourselves. We need to rely on a Power greater than ourselves... What we need to find is the Power strong enough to sustain our dependency. Accepting the fact that we are dependent, that we cannot manage our lives by ourselves--this is the beginning of recovery. We need to be humble, open, and willing to be led by those who have replaced their false dependency ... with a healthy dependency on God. ~Food for Thought

Temple of Artemis

24" x 30", acrylic on canvas
7th in the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World series

More of MV

I forgot to mention something yesterday in my telling of why Monument Valley, AZ is my favorite place on Earth (see second post below). It isn't necessarily about MV, but about Arizona in general. When we were in Sedona, AZ, where one of the Harmonic Convergence celebrations took place in the '80s, we were sitting in a restaurant, on the second floor which looked out over the terra cotta colored hills. Having some delicious Mexican food. In my vision I noticed some sparkling in the lower portion in the left side. I shut my eyes and really concentrated on seeing what was going on. After a while I could make out a 'G' shape. The 'G' was made of side by side triangles, some with the base at the bottom, the ones next to that were inverted. Inside each triangle were bands of colored light that moved in an up and down fashion. Like little neon signs, the bands of light moving up and down.

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I opened my eyes and had this experience for about an hour. About six years later I was in a motel on the west side of Phoenix on my way to Los Angeles, and I had the same vision. Again it was in the left eye, lower portion. Again was the 'G' shape. Again it lasted about an hour. Again it was in Arizona.

02.22.09

When you don't need anything, then you truly have everything. When you know that you already have enough, that you already are enough, that everything is as it should be, then your life will be rich indeed. Get past the need to possess and you'll discover that the whole world is yours. Abandon the need to be right and you'll find real truth. ~Ralph Marston

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Today I am grateful...

• for creativity in sobriety. Last night's Mardi Gras parade at Lambda was tons of fun!
• that today I start my new eating plan
• that someone left a bag of lemons on my front door last night
• that I have shown up for life sober for 1923 days, one at a time
• that back in May of 2001 if you told me I would be sober as long as I have been, that I love my life, I would have thought you a crackpot. And you may be, but for other reasons. hehe

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What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? ~Marianne Williamson

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Monument Valley

My favorite place on Earth.

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I used to draw the desert constantly despite the fact I had never been there. In 1987 Randall and I took a road trip out west. Starting in El Paso, driving through New Mexico, Arizona and Utah.

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One day we were traveling in his tiny Chevrolet Sprint, listening to Baba chanting Nityananda Mahan we rounded a corner and Monument Valley unfolded in front of us. My breath was taken away and I began softly sobbing. As we neared the stark, majestic formations I had the overwhelming feeling of returning home. The soft sobs continued as we drove through the right and left mittens. We came to rest on the red dirt road and I desperately wanted to go sit with these formations and make the entire world go away. I was completely and absolutely overwhelmed by their majesty and by the feeling that my heart had expanded so much that I was lost in it.

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We eventually left and I knew why I had drawn the desert for so long.

02.21.09

The road to recovery is always under construction. ~Anonymous
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Today I am grateful...

• that I get to meet with my sponsor this morning
• that I am willing to do the maintenance to preserve my sanity
• for art thoughts
• that I gave up on trying to fill that empty hole with alcohol
• that today will be a great day in recovery

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me”. ~Erma Bombeck

Scott c.1987 and My Favorite Place

02.20.09

In my own case, the foundation stone of freedom from fear is that of faith: a faith that, despite all worldly appearances to the contrary,causes me to believe that I live in a universe that makes sense. ~Bill W.

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Today I am grateful...

• that we remained safe yesterday afternoon when a Mercedes was clobbered in the intersection where we were waiting for the green light. It came to rest just a few feet from our front bumper, facing us.
• for the perfect weather yesterday afternoon
• to tour galleries and experience some incredible art, and some stuff that was just shit
• that time is passing and I am sober. Time has taken on such a different sense since I got sober--I can actually see it passing (or am I moving through it?), unlike when I was drunk every night and simply wanting my awareness of time to cease.
• to be at peace today, with no worries at this moment
• that it is the experience of life that matters, not most of the individual events

My addiction made me a small man with a small god. Constantly focusing on the differences in the world stopped me from seeing the glaring similarities; my exclusiveness kept me a lonely man. The world of black and white, rather than shades of creative color, is a sick and dangerous world to live in. ~Fr. Leo

My Favorite Place on Earth: Monument Valley

02.19.08

How many of the world's prayers have gone unanswered because those who prayed did not endure to the end? ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

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Today I am grateful...

• for forgiving friends like the one with whom I had dinner plans last night but completely forgot about
• that I was able to make the 12:15 meeting yesterday where Kimberly gave her story life punctuated with language from our Big Book
• to watch recovery shine through others
• to have observed that if one keeps coming back, there is hope and a great chance for getting and staying sober
• that by my staying sober the strength of recovery extends past my own self

Luckily, we don't need to know what we are becoming to find peace. What we need to know is what we believe in. And we'll become what we believe in. If we believe in sobriety, we'll be sober. If we believe in honestly, we'll struggle to be more honest. We must give ourselves the freedom of becoming. Becoming means we're on a trip, a journey. Over time, becoming takes on a comfort of its own. ~Keep It Simple

02.18.09

Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one's old life as a condition for finding a new one. ~AA Comes of Age

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Today I am grateful...

• that I didn't have large amounts of money tied up in financial institutions
• that Sister So is back at work today and life is back to normal for her
• that I will figure out the online bill pay thing, but right now it confuses me
• that my Higher Power gave me the same chance to stay sober as millions of others have tried
• that I was able to grab sobriety by the neck and not let go

If hugs could melt, if kisses were made of nothing but pure air, if talkers always agreed, and if hearts all beat to the same drum, would we desire any longer to be truly each other? No two leaves on a tree turn the same way in the wind; no two fish in a school tread the same water; and no two people can live the same life. Therefore, when we hug let's leave some space; when we kiss let's allow each other to breathe; when we talk let's permit each other to disagree; when we love let's honor each other's rhythm and way. ~Today's Gift

My Current Desktop

02.17.09

It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more "manhood" to abide by thought out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind. ~Alex Karras

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Today I am grateful...

• that I heard form Trailboss last night after her 'surprise' surgery. It lasted all of fifteen minutes and she was back in her room by 7 PM. She will fill you in later, I am sure.
• that I have been shown how to not hold onto the trappings of my trickster mind
• to be reminded to keep the magnifier on low so my magic, magnifying mind doesn't get the better of me
• for U-Verse and my DVR so I can watch entertaining stuff on TV
• for inside jokes

A circle is a shape that is found repeatedly throughout the natural world, and it is a symbol of perfection. We recreate this perfect shape when we join others to form a circle. Being in a circle allows us experience each other as equals. Each person is the same distance apart from the next participant, and no one is seated higher than or stands apart from others in a circle. ~Daily Om

Paducah Ice Picture from Deb

02.16.09

Gratitude is one of my greatest weapons in the war of addiction. When I find my heart filled with gratitude, I no longer have time for self-pity. There is no room in my heart for deceit when it is filled with gratitude. ~Wisdom for Today

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Today I am grateful...

• for another sober Monday
• that I am practiced in turning fears over, but am struggling a little bit with not taking them back
• that I can have my home as quiet and peaceful as I want, or I can turn up the music and dance
• that Bunny can be a spazzed out Tasmanian devil, but he melts my heart
• to have what I need for this day

I paid my dues for membership in the program through my years of addictive using. But these are the dues only for membership. In recovery I still need to do my part and accept the responsibilities that come with working the program and following its principles. I am part of a much bigger whole, but I am still only one person. The program provides me with the principles I need to discover the life that is hidden inside of me, the life that my Higher Power wants me to live. I still have to walk the walk. I am given privileges in the program as I get more clean time under my belt. It becomes my responsibility to share in the work of the program. ~Wisdom for Today

So's Picture of Frozen Grass

02.15.09

[F]alse pride became the reverse side of that ruinous coin marked "Fear." We simply had to be Number One people to cover up our deep-lying inferiorities. ~As Bill Sees It

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Today I am grateful...

• that Blogger seems to have stopped acting up. Kids these days! Sheesh.
• for the opportunity to maybe show at a small gallery in the Texas Hill Country
• for the 'spirit' attack I had yesterday afternoon. I just felt extremely close to my HP and it left me with tears in my eyes. I love that feeling.
• that smiles come easily to my face these days
• that I got to remember my mom a lot yesterday. Valentine's was her favorite holiday. She would have cards and gifts sitting on the breakfast table for each of us. She just loved to share love. She was a sweet, sweet woman and I miss her.

True ambition is not what we thought it was. True ambition is the profound desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God. ~Bill W.

02.14.09

Give love, and you give strength. Give love, and you give life meaning. When you desire to truly make a difference, let your actions be guided by love. Remember that even when all else fails, love grows stronger. ~Ralph Marston

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Today I am grateful...

• that Blogger is back to normal, except for constantly giving me error messages when I post something. I go check and it posted normally. Screwy.
• that today I have a request to be some one's Valentine
• that I have family and friends that love me and I love back
• that I went off my eating plan last night and had Panang Curry--such heaven in a bowl
• that tonight Bill is coming to pick me up in a burgundy Rolls Royce with cream leather interior

If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. ~Unknown

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Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. ~Saint-Exupery

Friday the 13th

Our best course is to live without expecting too much from others. They are not here to please or satisfy us. It's possible, too, that we've been unrealistic in some of our expectations and have set ourselves up for disappointments.
Our personal responsibility is to do our best even when others fall short of our expectations. At the same time, we can grow by becoming more reliable and dependable ourselves. ~Walk in Dry Places

Today I am grateful...

• that although I woke too early this morning and couldn't return to sleep because my thoughts were too busy, this is a rare occurrence for me anymore
• that I installed new versions of Internet Explorer and Firefox last night. This morning I cannot paste into a new post on IE, and Firefox won't let me underline and wants the fonts to be HUGE. I am doing this post in Firefox only because it allows me to cut and paste. Now the font sizes are screwed up. This surely messes with my serenity. (Update) I did finally figure out that I can cut and paste in the edit html feature. But Blogger was having trouble saving what had been written. Still messy stuff.
• for the brilliance of Tina Fey, last night's 30 Rock was hysterical
• that I can live this day with hope for a bright future
• that today I do not have to live in the past
• for the ease of letting go

Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice every day of our lives.

Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy or defeatism, they can be the sure foundation upon which increased emotional heath and therefore spiritual progress can be built. ~As Bill Sees It

Frank Lloyd Wright: The Donohoe Triptych

02.12.09

Oh, a trouble's a ton, or a trouble's an ounce, Or a trouble is what you make it, And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts, But only how you take it. ~Edmund Vance Cooke

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Today I am grateful...

• that I got to discuss the power of making gratitude lists daily with someone trying to get their program back on track
• for the commitment of listing my own gratitude for almost five years. When practiced faithfully it develops a life of its own, sowing the seeds of faith and trust.
• that while my outside grows older, my insides remain the same age
• for this beautiful, clear, sunny day in February
• that I am not intimidated to give high end gallery owners my card

Once, a woman decided to throw a problem-exchange party. As guests arrived, they shed all their personal problems and tossed them onto a pile with everyone elses. After all had discussed their own problem for others to hear, the party ended with guests selecting from the problem pile those they wished to carry away. Each person left with the same troubles he or she had brought to the party.

We who worry a great deal about our problems are always sure no one else has troubles as bad as ours. Too often, we complain, "If you had my problems, you'd really hurt." Our problems are tailored to us, and geared to help us learn by solving them. No one elses would be quite right.

When we cope with problems, rather than wailing about them, we discover that our own are minor irritations compared to those we see in others. ~Today's Gift

Babylon Noon

24" x 30", acrylic on canvas
Seven Wonders of the Ancient World Series

02.11.09

Kindle my heart's flame with Thy flame, may Thy light banish darkness forever. ~Jyota se Jyota (Hindi prayer)

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Today I am grateful...

• that I received a poem written as a response to a painting of mine
• that I was available for two 12th step calls yesterday
• to have solved a problem with the painting I finished last night
• for the thunderstorm during the night. I find such comfort in the sound of rain and thunder.
• for the practice of gratitude. It clearly redefines how I see the world.

One of the wonderful qualities possessed by babies and young children is that they are unaware that a cycle of life even exists. They simply are present to wherever they happen to be right now, and they don’t give much thought to the past or future. Being around them reminds us of the joy that comes from living fully in the moment. On the opposite end of life’s cycle are our elderly role models. They are a reminder that each phase of life should be treasured. Time does pass, and we all change and grow older. ~DailyOm

02.10.09

Give kindness and something amazing happens. Your own strength, confidence and joy will increase. Add some kindness to your world today. And see the positive benefits as it continues to grow beyond you. ~Ralph Marston
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Today I am grateful...

• for So's recounting of returning to Kentucky. Say hello to the weird spinning fetus.
• that I was able to introduce a fellow AAer to getting her art onto the Internet(s)
• that I know I have to be vigilant and watch for renegade thoughts. Not rebellious thoughts, but those that spin off and leave my serenity behind.
• that I have the chance today to make my life a little better and maybe, along the way, do that for someone else
• that I have been concentrating on gratitude so I don't play into the thoughts of the future being any less abundant than this day
• for a Higher Power that sustains my life and my future
• that trust, practiced daily, makes life self-propelling
  

At last experience taught us that to take away any alcoholic's full chance for sobriety in A.A. was sometimes to pronounce his death sentence, and often to condemn him to endless misery. Who dared to be judge, jury, and executioner of his own sick brother? ~12 & 12

02.09.09

A spiritual experience can be the realization that a life which once seemed empty and devoid of meaning is now joyous and full. ~Daily Reflections

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Today I am grateful...

• that my taxes for 2008 were electronically filed yesterday
• that our Dave called me Saturday to tell me about Negar telling her story
• that I could sit in my car yesterday and speak with someone in Kansas at Starbucks (they do not use an apostrophe) and have those laughs bounce off a satellite. Technology constantly amazes me.
• that there are things that bring me joy today and they are abundant!
• that my nephew is doing well in rehab
• that you will watch the video in the post below and sign the petition

I truly want what you truly want—nothing different and nothing more. Don’t you see that is My greatest gift to you? If I wanted for you something other than what you want for you, and then went so far as to cause you to have it, where is your free choice? How can you be a creative being if I am dictating what you shall be, do, and have? My joy is in your freedom, not your compliance. ~Conversations with God

What if...

What if you and your loved one got married one day? What if you and your loved one are already married? What if the state you lived in decided your marriage, sanctioned by law, one day invalid and you woke up and your marriage had vanished?

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Think about it.

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That is what will happen to 18,000 couples in California if Ken Starr and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund get their way in the California Supreme Court.

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Please watch THIS video and sign the petition to allow 36,000 people their rights to love another human being. And to protect the families of same sex couples.

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See if you can watch it and not cry.

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What if you didn't make your voice heard?

02.08.09

The pain and struggle of early recovery is a powerful wind that blows through your life. It blows open the doors to your deepest emotions and tests the very fiber of your being. Yet, after the storm abates, you rebuild on the foundation of love from the fellowship.

In the coming days when I can't be grateful, when I cannot see past the storm, I listen to the beating heart of the fellowship. ~ Reflections for Beginners

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Today I am grateful...

• for early Sunday morning walks with the pup
• that I went to the speaker meeting last night where I heard a friend tell her story and talk about the steps
• that I ran into someone I had not seen in twenty years. We both look so different than back then, but I recognized her eyes. I have often told this little story about her: She was working in the telephone company business office with my at that time partner. Her voice mail was "Hi, this is Kate. If you wanna leave a message raise your right hand. If you want me to call you back, raise your left hand." I think that is hysterical, but her customers did not. Imagine.
• that I do not have to know what caused the psychic change of 11/18/03. I can just be grateful it happened, revel in it and refer to it often as a miracle.
• that I have had no reason to wear a neck tie for over three and a half years. I still have my collection of vintage clip-ons (75 of them).

Alcohol gave me wings to fly, then took away my sky. ~Anonymous

Challenge: 4th photo from the 4th file in Photos folder

02+07=09

To be rigid leaves no room for God. ~William M (from his sponsor)

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Today I am entirely grateful...

• for yesterday's meeting on tolerance. I always need more info on this subject!
• for the disaster relief provided by the program of AA
• that what I lost during my drinking career (stuff and spirit) were replaced by sobriety--not so much stuff but more emphasis on spirit
• that today I have what it takes
• that tonight is art gallery Saturday with openings all over the place

True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, and every A.A. meeting is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to Him. ~12&12

02.06.09

God sleeps in the minerals, awakens in the plants, walks in the animals, and thinks in you. There is no place or time that the Power you believe in is not existing. Your thoughts are the culmination of this Power and your recovery HP's manifestation. ~Sanskrit saying

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Today I am entirely grateful...

• for loving friends and family, and friends that are family
• for prayers of gratitude and 'that before you ask, I have answered'
• that after seeing someone in the rooms for years a simple conversation with them begins a new relationship
• for great memories of being lost on the dance floor back in the day
• that I have today, all of it, and it's all good

Each time we see goodness, creativity, and love in someone else we are also acknowledging it in ourselves. When we deny it in others, we deny it in ourselves, and in God who created us.
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Meeting anyone - an acquaintance, a stranger - is a holy encounter. As we see others, we see ourselves. As we treat others, we treat ourselves. Each encounter, then, is another opportunity to accept or reject our own worth. ~Today's Thought

02.05.09

Being good to yourself is not selfish. Because the more fulfillment you experience, the more value you have to give to others. Have fun with what you have and enjoy where you are. Life's great abundance is yours when you can truly feel that it's there. ~Ralph Marston

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Today I am entirely grateful...

• for an alcoholics story yesterday told from the spiritual lessons side of things
• that last night I consulted The Gay CPA. It amazes me that you can do all your income tax stuff online.
• that the program usually works me in a soft, gentle way, revealing things when I need them
• that DS gave me some horseradish white cheddar cheese and it is DELICIOUS!
• that prolonged practice of gratitude actually helps fend off little doubtisms

We sometimes say things to ourselves like 'I should have done this, I should have done that.' We can should ourselves into deep and scaring guilt over what we did in addiction. Regardless of the playlets running in our heads, we are not in a position to take over our Higher Power's position of overseeing life. No matter how long I have been on earth or how intelligent and experienced I am, I will never rise above the level of human being. ~Reflections for Beginners

02.04.09

A.A. is no success story in the ordinary sense of the word. It is a story of suffering transmuted, under grace, into spiritual progress. ~Bill W.

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Today I am entirely grateful...

• that my doc was pleased with my lab work yesterday, cholesterol count: 158!
• that I actually cooked in my tiny NYC sized kitchen. Sauteed chicken breasts and steamed broccoli. I was so freaked out about salmonella from the chicken I had to scour everything as I went along. It's a pain in the ass to cook here, like those little square puzzles with one tile missing--you have to constantly move something to do something else. And it wasn't all that good, anyway.
• that I don't have to convince you about anything today
• for my Higher Power's inherent love and my being able to accept it

What are the advantages of being entirely honest about our motives and feelings? One benefit is that we never will have to face the disillusionment and humiliation that come from self-deception. Surely we had enough of that while drinking. Honesty makes us comfortable rather than pained, relaxed rather than anxious, and decisive rather than confused. These are rich rewards for people who once lived in the false world of alcoholism. ~Walk in Dry Places

You Better Work!

02.03.09

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. ~Erma Bombeck

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Today I am entirely grateful...

• to be sober and I thanked my Higher Power for keeping me that way for today
• for last night's first episode of RuPaul's Drag Race where 9 drag queens are competing for America's next top DQ. It was fierce! LOL! See RuPaul's picture above.
• that my super sneezing attacks I was having last night seem to have subsided
• that I have a routine follow-up appointment with my GP today
• that I have the chance to do today better than I did yesterday

Many of us have lived too much for ourselves and by ourselves. It is our egocentricity which has been our undoing. We have accepted no authority higher than our own whim and impulse, and we have been angry and depressed when people and events did not follow our preferences. Eating was an area in which we exerted our omnipotence, and appetite was our god. ~Food for Thought

Phil Saw His Shadow Today, 6 More Months of Winter

02.02.09

The price of liberty is eternal vigilance. ~Walk in Dry Places

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Today I am grateful...

• that I have committed to posting here daily since 12/05/04
• to have found Carrie Fisher's blog HERE. She is really funny and in recovery.
• that So should be back at work today. She and many, many others are still without electricity at home.
• to see the light shining through so many young people in recovery (and that I made it to an age that I can make reference to 'young people')
• to work honestly at being a good person and the momentum it gives my recovery

Service is really a beautiful word. Service means respect. When we serve others we're part of the human race. We all need to help each other. Service is a sure way to stay sober. Helping someone else stay sober helps us stay sober. And service frees us from self-will. It teaches us about how to care for ourselves and others. It teaches us that we're worthwhile. It teaches us that we make a difference. Service keeps us feeling good. ~Keep It Simple

Cruising Castro Street, c. 1977

02.01.09

If we waste time and energy talking about past injustices or old mistakes, we are unwittingly calling them back into our lives. We are bringing back garbage that should have been discarded permanently to make room for better things. ~Walk in Dry Places
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Today I am grateful...

• that I can say Happy Birthday Piglet! (She's on my side bar)
• that Zane celebrated 17 years as one of the 34 alcoholics celebrating four hundred and ___ ___ years of sobriety last night
• that I got to sit and giggle with Dave
• to hear a retread celebrating one year that when he came back he didn't share how he had stayed sober in the past, or that he had worked whatever step, or that he had this vast knowledge of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous--he could only share that he didn't know how to stay sober.
• that I had a blow out at Texas Art Supply yesterday spending all of my AT&T Visa gift card I got as a reward for switching to U-Verse on canvases
  

[T]he power of creative spirituality is alive in God's world. It unites and frees the people so that they can be discovered in their individuality. Difference is accepted, choice is respected and healing is perceived in our ability to love. ~Fr Leo