IF THE ONLY PRAYER YOU SAID IN YOUR LIFE WAS "THANK YOU", THAT WOULD SUFFICE. ~Meister Eckhart

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

11.18.2003 > 2,192 days < 11.18.2009

 

 

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Twenty-one hundred ninety-two days have passed since I walked back in the front door of Lambda Center. It was all over. No more fighting it, no more fearing it. There was no more time for making excuses to myself. This was the surrender. I had to surrender if I wanted any chance to win.

The door closed behind me. I sat down and got to work. I listened. I went to meetings every day. I did what was suggested. I prayed. I got a sponsor. I began to work the steps again. I came early and stayed late. I sat on the side and saw a room full of gay men and lesbians that had found a way to live sober. And I wanted what they had.

'I' found the 'we' of the program. I realized I did not have to do it alone. All the weight of the fear I had carried all my life seemed to lift and I could breath again. And I have lived, really lived one day at a time.

Today, at the six year mark in my sobriety, I have the experience of walking with giants. For in this life I feel I am doing the work I was meant to be doing. The veil of illusion gets thinner. The presence of a higher power is palpable as my faith builds. My prayers are prayers of gratitude. I have all I need. I am truly blessed.

 

...and I cannot say what has happened to me, except, I am not the same.

28 comments:

Mary Christine said...

Happy Birthday my friend. It has been my honor to know you for some of those years.

Mary LA said...

Happy happy soberversary Scott! Six years of a miracle.

Lou said...

An eloquent testament, Scott. You said much of how I feel. I did the work, now I have the benefits. No more excuses..

I loved Lambda, I could go there everyday. Congratualtions!

Ann said...

Happy anniversary!!! Beautiful words, beautiful heart!!!! Thanks for the honor of sharing in your accomplishment!

♥Shann♥ said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!
Thank you for being you and sharing your gratitude and sobriety with us for some of these years!!!!

Tall Kay said...

Happy Birthday Scott! You followed a few simple directions and you stayed sober! The best part is you keep coming back so the new guy can find hope too. You did a great job of explaining the miracle! Enjoy your special day :o)

Sending you a big AA birthday hug!

Bill said...

...and you're cuter than a speckled pup, too. Don't forget that.
Congratulations, you little Miracle Whip.

Boston said...

Scott, I got chills reading your post this morning. What a treasure to know and love you. -B.

Jeremy said...

Beautifully written, brought tears to my eyes.

Congratulations!!

dAAve said...

In the words of a friend of ours, thank you.

AnyEdge said...

Congratulations!! But HOW did you get that picture of me in my jeans!!??

Trailboss said...

Walking with giants.....

With tears in my eyes and gratitude in my heart I wish you such a Happy Birthday. I have my brother back after a long time. I can not think of a better thing in the world. My gosh I love you so much.

God bless you and God bless Lambda.

Kathy Lynne said...

Congratulations Scott and Thank You for being here and carrying the message through your blog...I appreciate it.

Ed G. said...

Congrats!!!

I was able to give you an award today for your birthday - you were the 6th person I could award. Is that amazing?

Blessings, aloha and thanks...

Todd HellsKitchen said...

CONGRATULATIONS! Clap, clap, clap from NYC!

Di-Git said...

Congragulations! Thanks for sharing you experience hope and strength with us in blogland

xTina said...

Soooo AMAZING!!!! Wowsers! Congrats Scott, what a beautiful event! Very excited for you.

One Wink at a Time said...

You're my magic for today : )

Anonymous said...

Hey, just stumbled across your blog this evening and wanted to let you know I think it's really beautiful.

Keep on keepin' on friend.

Patty said...

Happy birthday Scott. Thanks for your gratitude every day.

Syd said...

I am so glad for you Scott. A very good day it is that you are six years into living a full life. I appreciate that you show up every day here to offer gratitude for what you have received and in turn provide so much for your readers.

MichelleSG said...

Happy birthday Scott!

Donna Sorensen/jas2maui said...

Happy Birthday Scott! Your Attitude of Gratitude is the way to live. You are on the path. Congratulations! Much Aloha, Donna

Pam said...

Please take my husbands picture off of your "6" display.
I am so very proud of you, of your determination, gratitude and awareness.
Six years is awesome my friend...truly awesome.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday! Happy Soberversary Scott! Thank you for sharing through your blog. big hugs from Paducah, Deb

jeanne leigh said...

So proud of you and happy for you. Thank you for all that you are and for all that you share. ~jeanne

Tari said...

Congratulations Scott!!

leah said...

awesome post scott, congratulations on your six years and THANKS for the eye candy pics :)

you are such an amazing inspiration on all levels, thanks for sharing your journey in your art and words here for us to enjoy along with you.

love love love,
leah