Monday evening the weather was perfect for outdoor dining, so Randall and Jim took me to dinner at Cafe Adobe. We arrived early and were led to a patio table, in our favorite waiter Mark's station. A few feet away was a table of four gay men and one of their lady friends. One of the guys was very high and all were throwing down the margaritas. The high guy must have been tweaking hard as his constant, grinding chatter could be heard by all. He talked non-stop, often on his cell phone, introduced his boyfriend who didn't stick around long, stood scratching his rear end with his hand jammed down his underwear.
We made too many comments about that table, and a lot if them were not too kind. It was mesmerizing, they were sitting straight ahead of us and it was hard to ignore the drama. At one point another member of their party got up and approached our table to compliment Jim's and Randall's Hawaiian shirts and told us he bought shirts like those for his father. He told us his name was Adrian, he worked with snotty white bitches selling them make up, that today and tomorrow were his days off. It seemed he was at our table for forever.
After he returned to his chums, Jim commented that he was glad the kid was still in touch with his father, that a boy like that needs his dad. We were also struck by the fact that he seemed like a really sweet person. Jim had expected him to go off on us for making fun of them, I had expected he was coming over to apologize for his friend's behavior.
Then Jim said, "What was it Gurumayi said? The hardest things to let go of are the things we hate."
What is it about the behavior of these guys, who have absolutely no effect on my life, to have pushed so many of my buttons? I know from experience that when someone's behavior affects me that much it is in direct response to something about myself that bothers me greatly. This is something I will have to contemplate and also try to be aware that the only thing I really need to be concerned with is my own behavior.
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1 comment:
You think maybe it reminded you of yourself at a different time in your life and you are wondering how many ppl you might have bothered by your behavior? I remember a lot of times that we frankly didn't care what anyone else thought, we were gonig to have fun and a good time no matter who we might disturb or bother. Just a thought.
So
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