Though real sobriety means all lose of desire to drink, it's not uncommon to have moments when the old life takes on a sudden appeal. This appeal is never based on a realistic look at things as they were. It is more a rush of feeling connected with some alluring aspect of the drinking life. Such a false feeling will always pass if we let ourselves remember what happened to us and why we needed to seek recovery. We cannot have this rush of feeling when we remember the misery, despair, and other pain from that part of our lives. ~Walk in Dry Places
Today I am grateful...
- that I get to create another day in my sober history
- that more and more I am being shown how to be flexible--which has been coming at an annoyingly fast rate lately
- that as the days go by it gets easier to let things fall into place. Usually my resistance bogs me down.
- for vigilance
- that the ego gets whittled down little by little in the program of AA. Big pieces falling off would be painful.
All that glitters is not gold, goes an old saying. All the glittering scenes connected with drinking are not really golden moments, either. They are, for us, always preludes to disaster. ~Walk in Dry Places
7 comments:
LOL yes, big pieces falling off would be painful. I like the slow progress that the program gives us. I've never liked SUDDEN change. Now, big pieces of weight falling off would be acceptable right now.
When I'm down, I romance the first time I got drunk.
Then gotta tell that brain it's crazy.
There are times when I remember those happy times around the alcoholics in my life but what follows next is often a remembrance of the bad times. I guess that's why I would rather stay in the day.
i struggle sometimes with being flexible, though i'm much more flexible today than i used to be
Hey, "Boston", a year ago someone (won't say who!) told me to be more flexible. So I named my Guardian Angel "Flex", and I talk to it. People think I'm crazy. (I AM!)
Back to topic: Scott W., Someone ELSE told me recently that sometimes, when everything has been going REAL GOOD for a period of time, I cannot STAND it, don't think I deserve it, and therefore try my best to UNDO every good thing I've gotten here in AA. He said I sometimes wish upon myself the loss of serenity, sanity, spirituality, and, in the end, sobriety. Also the 'head docs' seemingly have a name for that?
Steve E.
Big pieces are falling off me, and it doesn't feel so hot.
Feelings, oooooh oooooh ooooh, feelings. I like walking in dry places.
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