We carry our fathers within us in ways we may not notice. When we do notice this in our thoughts and actions, we can use this relationship as a source of strength. When we hear a critical mental message saying we didn't perform well enough, is it a father's voice? When we feel a sense of strength and peace, are we in touch with our childhood knowledge of fatherly love? When we doubt our ability to get along with any woman, are we relying on what we learned in our childhood homes?
Today I am grateful...
- that my Higher Power reveals to me small bits and pieces of the mysteries of life, and I get that only because I am sober
- that since I am an alcoholic, today I have the choice to be a recovering alcoholic. I will make that choice by practicing my program.
- to be reminded that if I focus on the problem, the problem gets bigger. If I focus on the solution, the solution gets bigger. Today I choose solutions over problems.
- that today I choose life
Perhaps we can recast our father-son relationship in adult terms. Were our fathers too removed from our lives for us to know them? Maybe we can see now that a father's love was there but was overshadowed by the demands of survival or by a misguided life. If we are forever seeking our father's approval, we may need to find the ways in which they are truly human and imperfect like us. Making peace with them - whether face to face or in the memory of a relationship - empowers us with their strengths and grants us the adulthood we deserve. ~Touchstones
6 comments:
Here's a drop of sunshine for you to spread all over your body.
nice ending!
Accepting that my father was imperfect helped me understand him. I know that he did the best that he could. I made my peace with him and am glad that I did.
My father just might be the most flawed person who I thought was just perfect! And still do.
I DO know how to focus on the solution today.
My father and I have a relationship today that's better than it ever has been. He didn't change; I did.
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