08.31.06

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach

Today I am grateful...

• to sit in amazement and hear people tell their secrets
• that we have a place to go where we can tell our secrets
• that my first time around is in the past and I don’t have to live any of those feelings anymore
• to be able to walk through the world without wanting to hide
• that I am not usually known for being overly dramatic
• that God opens doors, it’s up to me to walk through them
• that today I will hug many homosexuals

It's an exciting process, this journey called recovery, but I understand I may sometimes use denial to help me get through the rough spots. I'm also aware that denial is a friend, and an enemy. I'm on the alert for danger signs: those cloudy, confused feelings . . . sluggish energy . . . feeling compulsive . . . running too fast or hard . . . avoiding support mechanisms. I've gained a healthy respect for our need to use denial as a blanket to wrap ourselves in when we become too cold. It isn't my job to run around ripping people's blankets off or shaming others for using the blanket. Shaming makes them colder, makes them wrap themselves more tightly in the blanket. Yanking their blanket away is dangerous. They could die of exposure, the same way I could have. ~The Language of Letting Go