02.03.05

I could easily spend the rest of the afternoon writing a gratitude list. Sobriety has given me many things, among them are not needing to create needless drama because I am not feeling either up or down, but a middle of the road sense of being. That middle of the road feeling is what I have been experiencing the past couple of days. I spoke with my spiritual brother Dennis and he assured me that we, as alcoholics, go through this.

If I let myself relax during any meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous I will always get something out of it. To sit in a room full of mostly gay recovering addicts can be the best comfort on Earth. To know I am not alone gives me even greater comfort. Knowing I am not alone uncovers the we of the program, and that I can snuggle up with.

So during the meeting today I decided I would go home and have some lunch and then go to the Houston Museum of Fine Arts for some aesthetic nourishment. And it's great that this came up today as the museum is free on Thursdays.

So what seems to my alcoholic mind as a funk is really just the experience of resting in the middle. I have no need to struggle, to alter my feelings. Turn it over and let it go.